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This week’s Bachelor Memoriam is brought to you by Manly Bands Do something different than your other 10 friends getting married this year. Unique wedding bands as impressive as you are. Use Promo code PGP15 for 15% off orders over $50.
It’s with a heavy heart that I must report the elimination of Tia Booth, 26, of Weiner, Arkansas who was sent home after hometowns and will not be getting the elusive invitation to the fantasy suite. It came as a surprise to literally everyone, including Arie, as the entire world thought he’d be sending Kendall home, and then switched to Tia at the last minute.
It truly shocked the world, and the only thing I can think that made Arie not take Tia to title town was meeting the family. I mean, did you watch that shit Monday night? How is Tia related to those people? It bottles my mind. They had a hard time forming coherent thoughts, let alone a sentence that God forbid had a frickin’ comma in it. Can you imagine Thanksgiving at the Booth household? Me neither. And neither could Arie. It wasn’t anything Tia did, or didn’t do, it’s simply the fact that her brother looks like the physical embodiment of the show Floribama Shore.
So, let’s have a good cry, plug in an emotional version of Pearl Jam’s Black, and as always, don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.
Tia, 26, physical therapist from Weiner, Arkansas
We all loved Tia. Raven’s BFF. Gorgeous. Nice. Sweet. A true five-tool player. Wouldn’t be shocked if she was the Bachelorette.
RIP. .
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
Tia tricked all of you. She never loved Arie, she has just been checking off every box she could to become the next bachelorette. Don’t forget, she is also a narc
When your hometown is a kindergarten euphemism for penis, something’s up.
Honestly though who wouldn’t want to take Kendall to the fantasy suite? You know she’s got to be in to some freaky shit.
True, but not the good kind of freaky shit
Arie will realize that as the leather straps are being tightened in the fantasy suite
Tia with the southern fried chicken sexy thiccness will make me watch every second of the Bahelorette (she has to be the chosen one)
That white dress did things.
I clicked on the Manly Bands link and now all my coworkers are asking when I’m proposing. So thanks. PGP
I liked Kenny.
Never liked Tia one bit
If someone doesn’t get that reference point blank, you don’t need that person in your life.
“Bottles my mind” isn’t how the saying goes
Guys we’ve been over this a million times whenever I use that in a blog. It’s from the critically acclaimed film “Blades of Glory”
I’m sorry. Classic mixup
It’s so crazy it takes your mind and puts it in a bottle. Not that hard to understand.