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It’s been awhile, please pardon my absence. I’ve been pretty sick and weighed down with whatever sniffles are going around because children are germ factories. I have a doctor’s note if you really need to see it… Also, I’m excused from gym, math, and writing until February. All set? Great.
This fall my class not only focused on reading, writing, arithmetic, and coding – because every kid under 10 can code, so consider this your warning for when they eventually take over the world – we also focused on building our character. We’ve been talking about respect, gratitude, and caring… you know, just a few very important character traits to know, and more importantly, to show. After all, we want to be well-rounded citizens… who can code. We’ve discussed saying “please,” “thank you,” giving hugs (but only when someone says it’s okay, they want to be hugged), and the right way to make friends. And the entire time, the little adages that come tumbling out of the mouths of my students have been golden.
Since sharing is caring, allow me to share the latest and greatest things that my students have shared with me during the past few weeks. You’re welcome.
October 26th:
Timmy: “Miss Mackay, how many days are there until Christmas?”
Even before Halloween, the kids were talking about Christmas, asking about Christmas, and singing about Christmas. Damn you, corporate America.
During show and tell time, I called on one of my students who raised his hand very politely:
Louis: “Well, ummmmm….” (gasp, gasp, gasp, sigh, sigh, sigh,) “It’s, ummmm, not exactly something to, um, show…” (sigh, sigh, sigh) “Ummmmm, just something to tell…”
Me: “Okay, that’s fine, take it away – “
Kevin: “ – take it to where?”
Me: “No, it’s just an expression.”
Sammi: “What’s a ‘suppression’?”
Me: “No, an ‘ex-press-shun’ – “
Kevin, very confused: “Like for your face?”
Sarah: “Ooooooo! Your face, your face, your face!”
Most of the class has begun to gasp, whisper, and react in shock to ‘your face.’
Me, trying to settle the students down: “Shh, Louis raised his hand and is ready to share, let’s give him our respect and attention.”
Louis: “Mmmm, I forget.”
It’s situations like these when I’m the most reflective about why I’m a teacher, how I got to this point, and where my life is going. Then I quickly remember something that rhymes with “schmudent schmedt” and realize how many more years I’ll be teaching. These situations lead to the nights that I drink a lot.
Richard: “Can I be the Grim Creeper for our Halloween party?”
Sure, Richard, you certainly can. Every party needs a Grim Creeper.
Emily, rubbing her head: “Miss Mackay, can I go to the nurse?”
Me: “Sure, what’s the matter, are you okay?”
Emily: “Yeah, I think I have lice again.”
Sarah, who overhead: “Oh, I had that twice last year.”
Me, slowly backing away, without any sudden movements: “Let me get you a pass.”
Almost immediately my head started to itch. I went to the nurse myself twice that day to have her check my head. So far, so good, but I’m considering wearing chain mail headgear for the rest of the year.
Laurie: “Guess what! My cousin is gonna have a baby, and she don’t need no man.”
Me: “…That’s great!”
I mean, it’s 2017 and women can do anything.
November 1st:
Timmy: “Miss Mackay, Christmas is soon!”
Time is a flat circle.
First thing on a Monday morning:
Kevin: “Guess what I learned this weekend, Miss Mackay?”
Me: “What?”
Kevin: “Girls have boobs!”
Oh. Neat.
Sammi: “Miss Mackay, Laurie said the F-word, and I don’t mean ‘fart.’”
Sammi, no one likes a tattle tale, and we all know that Laurie’s vocabulary is quite colorful, to say the least. I’m honestly impressed that Laurie kept it so tame.
The students were writing about being thankful for their families and to drawing a picture of their families:
Me: “Oh, Billy, tell me about your picture of your family.”
Billy: “Well, um, this is my dad, and this is ummm, my brudder, Sal, and this is uhhh, my sistuh, Katie, and this is my mom, and this is my dog, Zippy, and this is my hermit crab, Larry, and that’s my goldfish, Nancy.”
Me: “Wow, Billy, you worked so hard to put so much detail into your picture!”
Billy: “Yeah, I even got my mom’s chin hair!”
Yup, a lot of detail… Hey, Billy’s mom, shoot me an email and I’ll give you my customer referral number for European Wax.
On what we’re thankful for:
Me: “Wally, that’s a nice picture of a Thanksgiving feast! Are you thankful for food?”
Wally: “Well, my mom says I should be thankful that she’s hosting Thanksgiving because my aunt can’t cook.”
I mean… the attitude is gratitude?
Monday, November 20th:
Timmy: “How many days until Christmas?”
Thirty-five days, but more importantly thirty-two days until winter break. That’s about 768 hours, give or take. But really, who’s counting? .
Image via Shutterstock
Respond
@_mmmk8
That’s good that kids are learning how to code at an early age because by the time they reach 18, they’ll realize that they don’t need to go to college and then start making a great living instead of signing their lives away for a future of crippling debt that can’t be wiped out by bankruptcy…in other words, I’m really excited for our current version of society to absolutely crumble and implode on itself ;(
well now it just seems depressing when you don’t throw in the “lol” at the end…
Is that a winking frowny face? I don’t know how to take that.
Kevin needs to know that he can have boobs too if he believes in himself
By the time they get to be old enough to work there will be multiple programming languages that write their own source code, labwindows already does. Soon all anyone will need to know is how to design a GUI and where the “create code” button is.
Honestly one of my favorite series
Bright future, that Kevin.
Kevin is going places
I may or may not have spit my coffee onto my computer screen laughing at the exchange with Kevin
Just curious, how are those kids doing with their code?
Miss Mackey why are you crying?
I don’t know Timmy. Mind your own damn business!