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I’m in no mood for pleasantries, as you’ll see in a moment, so let’s just get right to it, okay?
Me.
On the occasions include myself in this column, I usually do so at the end, but you know what? This is my column and I’m not having a good last day of the weekend, so I’m putting myself first. Yes, I am on my way home from a European vacation…all relaxed and chill…until the fuckers at Air France caused me to miss my connection in Paris, meaning that I am stuck here on Sunday night. Paris is one of my favorite cities, so what am I complaining about? Well, a number of things.
1. The fuckers at Air France (which is how I will forever refer to them) didn’t seem to give a flying fuck that it was their mistake that caused me to miss my connection which also caused me to miss…
2. My first day at my new job. Meaning I had to super casually email my new boss and be all like, “Sorry, I won’t be in on my first day.” Thankfully, he was super cool about it and actually delayed my start until Wednesday to give me a day to get my shit together. But still.
3. I’m at an airport hotel, so I’m actually an hour outside of the city, so I could pretty much be anywhere. Paris could be Cleveland for all I know right now.
4. Oh, and those fuckers at Air France wouldn’t give me my bag (which leads me to believe they aren’t sure where it is) so I’m here a super cool Air France t-shirt and a toothbrush and not much else.
Le sigh.
Iowa Football
Oh, Hawkeyes. You were so close.
With 1:42 left to play, Iowa running back Akrum Wadley had a 70-yard TD reception midway and a 35-yard touchdown run to put the Hawkeyes ahead 19-15, and it looked like Iowa may upset last year’s Big 10 champs. But it simply was not to be: quarterback Trace McSorley led the No. 4 ranked Nittany Lions on a game-winning drive. After going 80 yards on 12 plays to close out the game, McSorley made a throw on fourth down to wide receiver Juwan Johnson for a touchdown just as time was running out:
Johnson’s score gave Penn State the win in the first conference match of the year for both teams. Better luck next time, Iowa. [via SBNation]
Wahlburgers and The Wahlbergs
What could go wrong when two actor brothers go in with their other chef brother on a restaurant chain that features over-priced burgers and shakes? Apparently, a whole hell of a lot.
It looks like Wahlburgers, the burger chain that actors Donnie and Mark Wahlberg opened with their brother Paul, is facing some money troubles. First, the chain is closing its Coney Island location in New York, and there are rumors that the long-awaited Times Square site may not open at all.
Page Six quotes sources who say that “They’re having trouble opening in Times Square. There’s some financial issue,” and that “staffers at the Coney Island location were stiffed and they have not been paying their bills.”
A rep for the company said:
Wahlburgers required its Coney Island restaurant to close due to a number of factors. The same franchise group was in the process of developing a space in Times Square. In both cases the franchisee was not operating in compliance with Wahlburgers business practices and brand standards. Ownership is in the process of restructuring their business and bringing in new management to ensure that Wahlburgers Coney Island maintains the brand’s values and high criteria as both a restaurant and a workplace. We are committed to the revitalization of Coney Island and reopening there, in addition to bringing Wahlburgers to Times Square, when we’re confident the leadership, staff, and resources are in place to uphold Wahlburgers’ commitment to excellence in all regards. We have no further comment.
Here’s a tip: don’t charge $8.95 for a fast food burger that doesn’t even come with fries. [via Page Six]
The Lego Ninjago Movie
I can’t say that I’ve seen any of the Lego movies, but this one seems to be lagging well behind its predecessors. Earlier this year, The Lego Batman Movie opened with $53 million earlier this year, and 2014’s The Lego Movie made $69.1 million during its opening weekend. While the studio didn’t expect The Lego Ninjago Movie to perform as well as its precursors, they did think it would make around $30 million. However, it’s only projected to make $5.8 million during its bow this weekend, finishing in third place.
Kingsman: The Golden Circle is projected to take first place during its opening weekend, with It will take second place in its third weekend in theaters.
Sorry, little Lego guys, but if it’s any consolation, if I went to the movies this weekend and had to pick between you and that scary clown, you’d win. [via The Hollywood Reporter]
Jason Derulo
Celebrities’ LA homes getting robbed seems to be a thing lately, with Demi Lovato, David Spade, Kendall Jenner, Drake, Emmy Rossum, Alanis Morissette, Scott Disick and Nicki Minaj having their homes burglarized in recent months. And now we can add singer Jason Derulo to the list.
On Friday afternoon, Derulo’s maid went to his LA home, noticed that things were amiss, and called the police. According to TMZ, “law enforcement tells us multiple people forced their way into Derulo’s home, possibly breaking a door and window. We’re told they beelined it for one room where they stole $300,000 in cash and jewelry.”
There’s some speculation that it may be an inside job since only one room in the house was hit; it’s also possible that there is security camera footage, so we may find out sooner rather than later who was responsible.
But if we don’t… can I suggest that these celebs start using banks like normal people? They can’t steal $300,000 from your house if you don’t have $300,000 in your house. [via TMZ] .
Respond
Jenna Crowley
Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.
@JennaLCrowley
@donttakeitfromus
to get away from your parents and i thought wow
Lmbo
Congrats on the new job. Sucks about the delay. But quick question, why schedule to return from a European vacation the day before a new job?
European airlines love to give you like 45 minute layovers to get through three passport checkpoints, then laugh at you when you don’t make it because you can’t go through the special EU lines. It only works out when they have to delay the whole plane because half the flight isn’t on board.
Sure, I’ve been to Europe enough to know this (humble brag). My question is just why would I schedule a European vacation to end the day before a new job? That’s just bananaland planning in my opinion but I assume Jenna has had the vacation booked for a quite some time.
It actually wasn’t intentional. The trip was planned before the job offer and when I told my new boss, he goes “what day do you get back?” And I reflexively said the 23rd and he goes “great you can start the 24th!” Stupid me didn’t lie for a buffer day.
Ouch, that’s tough. Anyway, safe travels and good luck on day 1 of the new job!
Checked bag and international travel the day before starting work? You set yourself up for failure with that one.
The Lego movies are bomb don’t @ me
but air france gives you chocolate chip croissants on their flights!
Was on Thursday, but 49er fans. I expect so little, and they still let me down.
The Lions were robbed on Sunday.
Nah brother, down at the 1, correct call!
no
My poor Hawkeyes. I was at the game and it was heartbreaking.
My liver, bank account, and gf were all very unimpressed with my actions following that bullshit :/