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College football is here. Make no doubt about it. We’re in the home stretch now. We’re looking at high temps in the upper 60s and lower 70s. It’s time to open up your arsenal on gameday. Throw it deep. Huck it and chuck it. Post-college gameday attire calls for the trusty Gameday Polo. Classic, refined apparel for the athlete in you. Look good, play good.
Primary Colors
Don’t go all crazy on me and buy a dark gray polo with the team logo on it when you know damn well gray isn’t one of your school’s colors. Let your flag fly on gameday. Your school has two or three main colors. Choose from those. Mix and match. Be a pro. You are a small, yet vital part of the beautiful living vignette on campus on gameday. Keep it simple. Wave your banner. I see your true colors, and that’s why I love you. So don’t be afraid to let them show. Your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow.
Grab Two
Gotta have two. Gotta. You can’t be the schlub wearing the same gameday polo every Saturday. Great way to make everyone think you’re a casual fan. By the time you turn 30, your closet should be overflowing with Dri-Fits and Performance Tech. Mix it up. Under Armour, Nike, Adidas, Antigua, Tommy Bahama (ooh, I like that. Always room for a Hawaiian). I’ll say this once, and only once: Don’t go crazy on the PFGs. Those shirts fuck and if you turn into the guy who wears one every gameday, I pity you. The Texas Tailgate Special of PFG, stranglers and boots is a real power play that should be reserved for big time games only and if you come out of the gate wearing one against Bowling Green, you played yourself.
Tuck Rule
You’re free to make a call here. I’m out of the tuck game completely. No, no. It’s not because I have a gut. I love my gut (#bodyacceptance – try it). I love the casual look of an untucked gameday polo with some good shorts and a solid pair of sneakers or loafers. Boss as hell. Tucked in? Man, you better have a solid core or else you’re gonna look like you got Dunlop disease (where your belly done lopped over your belt buckle). Play this one safe. If you’ve racked up the Papa John’s points this summer, maybe go the casual route. Don’t feel pressured by society. I’m in your corner here. Tuck or don’t. There is no rule here.
Shoulder Pop
TOFTB? No. SOFTG. Do a million upright rows and shoulder presses before each gameday and make the sunlight dance off your broad, masculine shoulders. You’re wearing official gameday gear, you can’t look like some noodle armed coward on gameday. Football is a game of men for dudes invented by guys and your attire should look like you can stroll onto the field during warmups and start tossing 15-yard outs to the second teamers. Get a polo that’s tight across the shoulders and upper arms, draping them ever so tenderly. Like moisture-wicking tapestries. Make sure the sleeves aren’t too short either. Short sleeves were hot circa 2002, but now, you gotta keep those pythons shrouded, but just shrouded enough to still show a little definition off. Mystery. Intrigue. Gains.
Pain heals. Chicks dig deltoids. Glory lasts forever. .
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
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Anyone thinking they’re gonna stray from this advice be warned. My buddy thought he could get away with pissing off the balcony at a bar in Austin. How he got caught? His neon green TCU game day polo.
Also, this got me pumped for college football season. I just found out the fiancé will be out of town for my birthday/first weekend of the season. Houston, let’s get weird.
Three day weekend too. Be careful. Don’t die.
Do we have the same birthday? Are you me? Am I you living in an alternate universe?
I think we need to ask Nived.
Nived, are we living some sort of coexistence of the multiple lives we want to have and somehow there is a glitch and we are communicating via PGP?
Mind = Blown
Go Frawgz
This is classic old school PGP material. Love it Brian.
I now have a game day chub.
It’s articles like these that make me regret going to a school without a football team.
Didn’t know you went to Texas State too.
Ha we’re joking around and having fun. Have a good Wednesday.
It’s fun to laugh.
The PFG is a godsend on a hot day. Plus, you can slowly work those buttons down for a modest, yet healthy display of chest hair as the game day rolls along.
PSA: if you have any respect for the integrity of your rotator cuff, stop doing upright rows. Please. And don’t forget to smoke your upper back every now and then. Take care of your shoulders and they’ll take care of you, people.
Coming from someone who had ‘wear and tear’ surgery at 21yo, please take care of your shoulders people. Very debilitating injury.
Real talk. As a swimmer my shoulders were by far the best part of my body but they also had several tears which in hindsight just wasn’t worth it.
I cannot wait to use Dunlop disease in conversation.
I always go with Dickeydo Disease. Where your stomach sticks out further than your dickey do.
That was my high school football coach’s go to line.
I regularly have cases against an attorney with the last name of Dunlap, and he suffers from Dunlop disease. I don’t think I will ever see or speak to him again without thinking about Dunlop disease.
The most important rule: If you aren’t a fan of either team playing, then wear white. Don’t be the shitbag that wears orange to a game when everyone else is wearing blue and red.
Gonna have to disagree here. I don’t understand how it makes you a shitbag for doing nothing other than clashing colors with the rest of the stadium. I now live 700 miles away from my alma mater. However, I’ll be damned if I won’t be enjoying tailgating and college football just because my team isn’t playing. I will rep my school (no matter how much they’re football team sucks) even in at a tailgate/game where I don’t have a dog in the fight.
One perk of being a neutral fan at a game is that you’re treated like the supreme court for discussions among fans of the opposing teams. As an unbiased neutral party, they’ll enjoy having extra validation of an outside opinion depending on who you side with.
Not mentioning the Peter Millar dry fit game day polos makes me question whether you’re ready for the season to start
Need to lock down new Auburn dry-fit for the season. As much as it pains me, I will give Bama one tiny bit of credit, their elephant logo polo’s are fresh.
Me too Auburn fam. I have our 2014 polo but thought that design was less than stellar. It was the only design available..
I’ve seen some solid looking AU stuff over the years, but never one of the Under Armour, Official Sideline polos. Those are always awful to me. One reason I’m thankful Alabama has Nike. That being said, still go with the Locker Room Elephant logo.
Don’t even get me started on my alma mater having Addidas.
Bought a champs brand white polo at toomers last year that’s great. Think the AU works best with the white background (team uniforms too)
I used to have a short sleeve button down that was baller as hell. Those buttons undid themselves. I had the bright idea to take that bitch to the cleaners so I didn’t look like a slob. Come gameday, I ended up rubbing my nipples raw and had a not so pleasant time. I don’t wear that shirt much anymore.