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Let me preface this article by saying I know country music. It’s been engrained in me since I first rode home from the hospital as an infant. I love the genre as a whole, and I appreciate all of its sub-genres as well. My roots go back into bluegrass and folk, and my personal breed of country is outlaw country and southern rock. I can appreciate the transformation of country music in the 1990s, and I can even handle listening to bro-country. Yeah, I said it. There is, however, one “genre” of country music that I absolutely cannot stand. This “genre” consists of one artist from Australia. Do you know who I’m talking about? My feelings for him are strong.
Keith Urban sucks.
He is trash. Have you heard this new song called “The Fighter”? It sounds like Calvin Harris and Katy Perry. Really. If you haven’t listened to it, don’t. Please do yourself a favor and just don’t.
Today’s country fans will read this and immediately think I’m some traditionalist loser who “can’t keep up with the times” and refuses to embrace change. You’re wrong. While I of course listen to Conway Twitty, Merle Haggard, and George Jones, this is not where it stops for me. Before I dive in to my hatred of the Australian pansy with straightened hair, I would like to build my country snob credibility a little further. I listen to traditional country, outlaw country, southern rock, country pop, dancefloor country, Texas country, honky tonk, and the list goes on and on. I will even listen to hick-hop. So that means on a daily basis I will listen to people like George Strait, Alan Jackson, Shania Twain, Kenny Chesney, Waylon Jennings, Chris Stapleton, Rae Lynn, Aaron Lewis, Alabama, Justin Moore, and I could go on, and on, and on. I’ll even listen to Sam Hunt. I can respect what he’s doing. I literally listen to all kinds of country music, and I appreciate all of it, except for one guy.
I really fucking hate Keith Urban.
You know, some of his music isn’t even all that bad. Do I catch myself humming along to some of his older songs when they pop up on the radio? Unfortunately, yes. But I still can’t stand him. Hearing Keith Urban sing lights a fire deep down in my soul that it angers me more than when people drive slow in the left lane. Speaking of lanes, Keith Urban needs to stay in his own, because country music is not a lane that he belongs in.
I know, he’s talented, or he wouldn’t be a multi-millionaire married to Nicole Kidman. He just irks me. For example, take “Blue Ain’t Your Color” and let’s analyze. Pretty good song if he wasn’t singing it. I’ve listened to countless covers and would take every single one over his version because I hate hearing him sing that much. Plus, why is he saying “ain’t”? He better not start stealing our slang. He looks like a skinny Billy Ray Cyrus mixed with Owen Wilson wearing eyeliner. He’s piggybacking off an American genre with deep tradition and roots and then just taking a shit on it with his disco techno trash “The Fighter” and I will not stand for it.
I know, he’s successful and has a lot of fans. He can sing and play guitar. His life shits on mine. I get that, but I still hate him. Fuck you, Keith Urban.
If y’all want to hear some good country music from guys on the rise, all with different sounds, check out Luke Combs, Jon Langston, Jon Pardi, Whiskey Myers, and Granger Smith. Just please, don’t listen to Keith Urban, because Keith Urban sucks..
Image via Shutterstock
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Anyone here ever heard ‘Paris’ by The Chainsmokers? Whew. What a song.
Honestly, closer still goes hard af
Ughhhhhh
Paris bangs, I’ll admit it!
You misspelled Luke Bryan a lot in this
Keith is worst then Luke, and I really hate Luke.
They definitely suck but let’s not give Justin Moore a pass. Besides small town USA he’s pretty unbearable
Come on Vick we’ve got Guns, More Middle Fingers, That’s How I Know You Love Me…
Saw Justin Moore open for Miranda Lambert a few years ago. His stage presence makes his music that much more unbearable.
I was just about to say, Luke Bryan, Sam Hunt, and the team other dudes on the radio that sound just like them have ruined country.
Body like a backroad on country radio??? Just pull a swift and take your pop shit to a different station.
I fuck with pop Taylor Swift
No qualms with Swift, but you don’t hear Shake it off on country radio because once upon a time she used to be a country artist. Same should go for all these other guys.
Unfortunately, it’s a product of people wanting to put on an appearance. Country music is so easy to break into because all you have to do is sing about painted on jeans, back roads, and trucks and people will listen because they think listening to country music makes them country. That’s why these assholes haven’t jumped ship like TSwift – people make it too easy for them to make money by being phony dbags.
Could say the same about Sam Hunt
Both dudes know how to sell hits, and you can’t hate on that hustle even if you aren’t the biggest fan of their actual music.
The word “music” has a very broad definition in this instance
Stick to the Texas country and you won’t be disappointed
I concur, every song I’ve heard so far by Midland has been pretty stellar
What? No. Midland is a bunch of California carpetbaggers manufactured by a major Nashville label. Not offensively bad, but not representative of the Red Dirt or Texas Country scene.
There are only two new mainstream “country” artists that I respect, Chris Stapelton and Sturgill Simpson. I’m more of a red dirt (or Texas country) guy myself.
Just got home from a Turnpike Troubadours concert. Absolutely awesome
Would love to hear some red dirt artists I should listen to
Cody Johnson, Jarrod Birmingham, Jon Wolfe, Wade Bowen, Jason Boland, Robert Earl Keen, Charlie & Bruce Robison to get you started.
Seeing Cody Johnson in a couple weeks!!
BIG fan of Jon Wolfe. Glad to see him getting some love.
Agree with pretty much everything that’s already been listed, but I’ll add Flatland Cavalry, Troy Cartwright, American Aquarium, Kevin Fowler, and William Clark Green (especially live) for good measure.
SHANE SMITH AND THE SAINTS. (All caps because you really need to listen to them). Flatland Cavalry, William Clark Green, Red Shahan, Dalton Domino, Parker McCollum..
Listen to Shane Smith and the Saints, you will thank me later.
Mickey and the Motorcars, Reckless Kelly, and old Pat Green are some of my favorites
He’s not new (actually kinda disappeared) but Jamey Johnson fits so well in that group.
Lead Me Home, In Color, he’s amazing
Agreed. Sturgill is phenomenal and I really like Rich O’Toole for some day drinking tunes.
While Chris Stapleton just started singing, he has been in the industry and a famously major song writer for over a decade. Love Chris Stapleton but would hardly call him “new” or “mainstream”
What’s funny about Chris Stapleton is all the Chris Stapleton super fans that make fun of modern country radio fail to realize he wrote a majority of those songs!!
I found that funny as well. I’d been listening to him with The Steeldrivers long before he blew up as Best “New” Artists at the CMA awards and did his duet with JT. He 100% deserves all the success and recognition he’s getting, but it was just funny to me that he’s been around so long, yet was considered “New.” If anyone hasn’t heard The Steeldrivers, they’re great, even the albums post-Stapleton.
100% agree
Let’s see, off the top of my head Cross Canadian Ragweed, Casey Donahew, Stoney LaRue, Josh Abbott, Randy Rogers, turnpike troubadours johnny cooper. Gary Allan was also pretty much red dirt and maybe Eli Young although they are probably closer to that pop country bullshit but some of their songs are good.
Love Josh Abbott and Cody Jinks too
Oh yeah Cody Jinks isn’t bad, also wade bowen is okay never been a huge fan though. Also I’ve been listening to a band All In Gents which I don’t think they’re exactly red dirt but they’re definitely interesting.
and from turnpike, John Fullbright
I wouldn’t necessarily call either of those two mainstream, if by mainstream you mean the genre that’s most popular. Sturgill doesn’t make it onto the radio, and Stapleton pretty much got demanded to be played by the public
Add Aaron Watson to this list
This is how I feel about Rascal Flatts. The whiney male voices just don’t do it for me.
Thought it was a girl singer for a solid two years and can definitely say I found the music less enjoyable once the truth came to light
Luke Bryan, Sam Hunt, and FGL could all be inserted into this article as well. “Body like a backroad”? You mean bumpy, dusty, unkept, and sometimes difficult to navigate? The hell outta here with that pop country pandering bullshit
I can at least understand how Luke and Sam are popular. They are young and good looking (???) guys singing about the new age country boy lifestyle. FGL is another story. Those guys are worse than food poisoning.
Luke Bryan is not exactly young anymore and his schtick is getting creepy.
Like Bryan is like 45 lol
Luke* fuck
Church and Stapleton get my respect out of the current bunch. I’ll listen to a lot of the stuff but only those two get a pass
If those two are you guys I think you’ll really like Luke Combs
Church’s “Lotta Boot Left to Fill” most accurately sums up today’s county radio music and it’s not even a current song of his.
Country song recommendation of the day: Sleeping on the Blacktop – Colter Wall. If you haven’t seen Hell or High Water check it out, great flick.
Stop what you’re doing and go listed to Aaron Watson.
I can’t believe nobody mentioned him.
Total agreement on Keith Urban though. Straight garbage and The Fighter tops them all.
PS I went to Garth Brooks two weeks ago, and I’m not lying when I say it was legendary.
*listen to Aaron Watson.
Two degrees and I can’t type properly. PGP or just an idiot?
Anybody heard of Brooke Eden? She’s a total bag of fuck and her music is pretty good.