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I’m not gonna bury the lede here, so, the Personality and Psychology Bulletin published a study claiming that people who have sex with their significant other once a week would be happier than making $50,000 more dollars a year in lieu of sex once a week. Read the whole thing if you want, but I’ve come to my own conclusion about this.
This is the dumbest hypothetical ever. So you’re telling me that people would want to give up $1000 dollars for every time you have sex with someone who you already get to have sex with? Do you know how ridiculous that is?
Him: “Hello, yes. One sex, please.”
Her: “Splendid. That will be one thousand dollars.”
Him: “Deal.”
I know exactly what happened here. They asked the couples at the same time instead of individually. The dudes just froze as their ladies glared at them with a look that said “Yeah, honey. What’s this p***y worth?” Poor, poor fellas. They had no chance. That, or they just asked a bunch of teenagers who have no concept of how much money $50,000 dollars is and just how awesome that sum of money is.
If your SO rolled over and said they’d trade $50k more a year just to hump once a week, I hope you would dump their broke ass right then and there. I’m not one to turn my nose up at affection and coitus…
…but I’m also not one to turn my nose up at an amount of cash that would rocket me well into another tax bracket.
I got several very handsome deposits in my bank account today. It was awesome. I woke up with a huge smile on my face. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Cuddling and smooching makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside too, but you know what’s not gonna pay for my spring wardrobe, a PS4, an OLED TV or trips to South Beach, Scottsdale and New Orleans in the next six months? Cuddling and smooches. At least not legally. I realized a long time ago that selling my body for profit just wasn’t in the cards for me.
Money is awesome. Sex is great. If I had to choose money over sex, I’m choosing money every time. Whoever said money can’t buy you happiness likely never had much of both to begin with. Does that make me a shitty person to say that? Probably.
“Nobody’s happy in this town except for the losers. Look at me, I’m miserable. That’s why I’m rich.” -Ari Gold
So, if you want to stay in bed and cuddle all day like a no-money, debt ridden monster who only cares about sins of the flesh, you are more than welcome to. I’ll be out here, selling my soul to The Man for steady pay and health insurance..
[via Cosmopolitan]
Image via Shutterstock
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Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
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Sex once a week… That’s a funny joke. PGP
Well maybe you should have more terrific lady days with Mrs. Ruxin and she will give you more sex
She died you fucking asshole.
Rafi still would.
Whoaaaa spoiler alert
Shivakamini Somakandarkram!
Having neither. PGP.
Having both. PGPM.
Not everyone has the luxury of being the sausage king of Chicago.
I’m trying this new thing where I don’t accidentally call my fiancé a random Instagram model’s name during sex. It’s really improved our life in the bedroom
So if I yes to $50,000 per year and my wife says yes to $50,000 they’re giving us the full hundo, right?
Sounds cheaper than dating AM I RIGHT???
I’ll stop talking now
Sex is for cucks.
If that’s the case, congrats on the sex
I don’t care what any of the other duck gals think; I’m taking that $50k everyday of the week, and twice on Sunday
Still cheaper than a hooker.
Really? I thought you could do pretty well with $500 per sesh, amounting to almost 50% savings over $50k/yr
Can confirm
Before or after taxes?