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I say a lot of absurd things on our critically acclaimed podcast, Touching Base. Sometimes I’m just being a shock jock, but other times I’m spitting truth. Everybody knows you have to have a public and private position when it comes to the hot button issues. But when I said I’m the Dak Prescott of the podcast, a reference to the rookie quarterback of the 8-1 Dallas Cowboys, it was honestly nothing more than a throwaway line. Have to say, though, this random dude has me buying into my own hype.
Here is the 100 percent raw, unfiltered and unedited email we received:
Everyone knows I’ve been a big Dak guy since day one. I watched Dak lead the Mississippi State Bulldogs to the number one spot in the nation from the student section of Davis Wade Stadium at Scott Field in Starkville, Mississippi against the Auburn Tigers. My parents framed a picture of my sister and I at that game and gave it to the grandparents for Christmas. I’m not saying that we’re best friends, but Mr. Prescott and I may or may not have had a conversation in the back courtyard of my fraternity house that I could tell he had no interest in at all. What I’m getting at is this, when it was brought up that people are calling Dave the Dak of the podcast I thought, “Well, ef yeah” and as a noted Dak guy I feel like I need to give the haters reasons why that comparison is not far fetched.
1) Just when you think the whole podcast is gonna be about Micah’s boner, Dave drops a “looks like you’re about to slang yay in Miami” on that ass. Much like Dak dominating the preseason, Dave comes in hot early in the podcast letting everyone know he’s not here to mess around.
2) Ol’ Dak, he’s just a guy bein’ a dude. On his bye week what did Dakota do? I’ll tell ya what he did. Dak spent the weekend fishing in Louisiana with his family. No flash here. According to last weeks podcast Dave spent his night off watching football on mute with a Joe Rogan podcast on. Both off days sound like a pretty chill sitch i wouldn’t be p’d off to partake in.
3) Dawgs. Dak- Bulldawg. Dave- Crime Dawg. There it is. Okay? Okay.
4) Dak can do it all. He runs. He throws. Hell, in college the man had a TD or two as a receiver for Pete’s sake. Dave runs the site, hosts two podcasts, and keeps Grandex’s ass out of legal trouble as the in house counsel. Ask him to do any more and you might as well ask Dak to try his hand at center before snapping the ball to himself to throw an 80 yard TD to YOU GUESSED IT Dak MFin Prescott.
5) We all know when it comes down to it, Dave closes deals. When Micah’s throwing that Young Republican finger of his around trying to “wrap it up” Dave will make sure those Vice Headlines get in before the clock runs out. Also, due to recent podcast fame “This Network” is growing exponentially. Just like when Them Boys are down a few with little time to spare, Dak makes sure somebody crosses the plane before the clock says 0:00 snatching that dub straight out from under his opponents flashy cleats. And because he’s the Golden Boy of America (my words, not the media’s), his fans are growing just as fast in number as “This Network” is growing in endorsements.
So there it is. Five reasons why Dave is the Dak of Touching Base. And just like Dudes Doing Business, this ain’t your grandma’s list of reasons. I talked about boners (they happen), the Joe Rogan Podcast, This Network. I hit it all. So read this on the podcast…………you fuckin’ pussy.
I’m flattered, humbled, and at a loss for words. I’d argue that I still have mechanical issues to workout, I may force a take every now and then, and my allergies have me a bit nasally as of late, but I think I’m getting there. Every day, we strive to bring you a podcast experience you can’t find anywhere else. I will not sleep until we’ve reached that goal. Thank you, anonymous email guy, for lighting a fire under my ass. I will live up to your hype..
Image via NFL / YouTube
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Dave
Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.
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Will is the Tony Romo of the Podcast
Keeps you entertained, gives you small flashes of potential, but ultimately chokes when it matters.
Not unlike Tony Romo’s seasons, Will seems to end his sentences prematurely when he talks.
Between this and the rap, Dave’s ego is going to get too big for the podcast studio.
Isn’t he like 39 years old or something?
Pretty sure the ol’ crime dawg is at least 42 and lives in the burbs. Still dabs on teenagers when the mood strikes.
32/Austin/not the oldest on the podcast
That’s enough proof for me. Would let’s hear 5 reasons why deFries is Blake Bortles.
1. Important, talented, but takes the beta seat to the rest of the team
2. Huge potential, doesnt know what to do with it
3. Looks significantly older than their age
4. Teases then lets everyone down (TGDAG/Todd, plugs in podcast)
5. Full of hot takes (see Bortles: “Tough to win when team plays bad)
Dave you are having a week. Emails, raps, what’s next?
What happens next will shock you.
Personal trainers HATE Dave for his next big thing
Next hit us with the 5 reasons Dilldog is like Ryan Tannehill