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We’ve all been there: a drink at happy hour turns into three, or a glass of wine turns into a bottle. While enjoyable at the time, unless you’re one of the rare few who are mysteriously immune, you are most definitely going to wake up the next morning with a brutal hangover. Your morning is ruined, as you pop some Advil, climb back into bed, and hope that your headache fades by lunchtime. Of course, this could be resolved by drinking less, but let’s be honest – the reality is that you’ll have a pounding head a few days a week for the remainder of the foreseeable future.
However, Professor David Nutt is out to save all of us with his research on the creation of – wait for it – hangover-free booze. I’m listening. Nutt is creating a new synthetic type of alcohol, which he is appropriately calling alcosynth, which is a seemingly magical form of alcohol that gets you drunk without any negative side effects. That’s right – no headaches, no cottonmouth, and no hangover. Someone start a GoFundMe for this man because this is the research our generation needs.
Nutt believes that in a few decades, alcosynth will be commercially available and you’ll be able to order it as part of your favorite mixed drink and be able to drink to your heart’s content with no risk of a hangover in the morning. While this sounds a bit like a science fiction movie, Nutt believes that by 2050, alcosynth will be our new standard. Sure, I’ll be a senior citizen by then, but you can bet I’m looking forward to using my senior discount at my favorite bar to drink without damaging my brain any further. By that point, I’m sure I’ll need it. .
[via Food & Wine]
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Steph W.
Steph W. is a new Master's degree graduate with an intern's salary and six-figure taste. She realizes her expectations far exceed reality, so she spends her days pinning away Loubs she pretends are in her physical closet instead of her virtual one. Her hobbies include attempting to trapping her boyfriend into marriage before he finds out how insane she is and pretending that Black Box wine tastes as good as the kind she could afford when she was gainfully employed. Send her tips for getting out of student debt at recruitchairtsm@gmail.com
@therecruitchair
“Soon”
…
“by 2050”
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Hangovers will be the only “badass” thing our generation will have to tell our grandkids about. “Back in my day when you went out and got fucked up you felt like shit for one to three days after! And that was before weed was legal and you could smoke your hangover away”
This premise resurfaces every few years. And still nothing. It’s like the philosophers stone of booze.
Am I the only one who’s first thought was, “I wonder how much this will increase alcohol poison related deaths?” Law school has damaged me forever. I go straight past the possibilities and right to the liabilities. No wonder everyone hates us.
This isn’t “alcohol” it’s something that is supposed to act like it but without actually being what gets us drunk. The problem is the brain really doesn’t give out free rides so this stuff must have a catch.
Then all of a sudden bars have drink limits to combat the death toll – already becoming a communist state!!!