Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You: Colonel Sanders

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Let’s be honest: no one had a worse weekend than Ryan Lochte. But he didn’t make this weekend’s list, for the sole reason that I am absolutely sick of hearing about the whole thing. I certainly wasn’t going to spend any time writing about it. So that being said, here are five people that had a worse weekend than you, but still better than The Lochtenator.

Karlos Williams

Actually, Williams has had a hell of a few months, which came to a head this weekend. First, Williams showed up for training camp in June overweight, blaming his overeating on his fiancée’s pregnancy. Bills head coach Rex Ryan wasn’t happy, but Williams remained on the team. Then this week the 23-year-old running back was suspended for the first four games of the 2016 season due to a violation of the NFL’s substance-abuse policy. It would seem that the combo of the two (along with the Bills signing veteran Reggie Bush to play backup to LeSean McCoy) led to the worst part of Williams’ summer; on Saturday, the Bills released the second-year player, despite his stellar year in 2015.

Williams seemed to be taking it all in stride, posting a thank you to the Bills on Instagram after he was released.

I must admit, that’s a classy way to go out. Sorry you had such a crappy few months, Karlos. [Via Bleacher Report]

Jake Ostrowski

Like most people heading off to school, college freshman Jake Ostrowski is going to miss his family when he goes to Texas Tech this fall. But this particular 19-year-old is going to miss one member of his fam more than most – his dog, Jesse. Jake was having such a hard time leaving man’s best friend that his mom came up with a way for him to take the 4-year-old golden retriever with him to school…kind of.

Yes, that’s right, Jake’s mom got him a cardboard cutout of the adorable pup to take with him. And while he may not be as cuddly as the real Jesse, cardboard Jesse will likely help Jake find a snuggle buddy of the female human kind. [Via Mashable]

Ben-Hur

I’m not entirely sure why anyone felt the need to remake the 1959 epic, but that’s beside the point here. The point is that this version, which cost nearly $100 million to make, got its ass handed to it at the box office, only making $11.4 million in its opening weekend. In fact, the critically-panned film came in fifth in this weekend’s box office, being beaten by older releases Suicide Squad and Sausage Party as well as smaller, new releases War Dogs and Kubo and the Two Strings.

Who hurts the most from Ben-Hur’s flopping? MGM put up the majority of the financing for the flop. Ouch. [Via The Hollywood Reporter]

Colonel Sanders

Since the 1940s, the blend of 11 herbs and spices that make up the Colonel’s secret original chicken recipe has been a closed guarded secret. I personally go to KFC more for the biscuits than the chicken, but there are plenty of people who are simply obsessed with the chicken from the fast food chain. But now, the secret may be out.

Joe Ledington, who is a nephew of the Colonel by marriage, found a handwritten chicken recipe in a scrapbook that belonged to the Colonel’s second wife, Claudia Sanders. On Friday, the Chicago Tribune published the recipe and said in a taste test that chicken made from the recipe is “indistinguishable” from that made at KFC.

So what’s the recipe? From the Chicago Tribune:

Prep: 30 minutes

Soak: 20-30 minutes

Cook: 15-18 minutes

Makes: 4 servings

2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 tablespoon salt
1/2 tablespoon dried thyme leaves
1/2 tablespoon dried basil leaves
1/3 tablespoon dried oregano leaves
1 tablespoon celery salt
1 tablespoon ground black pepper
1 tablespoon dried mustard
4 tablespoons paprika
2 tablespoons garlic salt
1 tablespoon ground ginger
3 tablespoons ground white pepper
1 cup buttermilk
1 egg, beaten
1 chicken, cut up, the breast pieces cut in half for more even frying
Expeller-pressed canola oil

1. Mix the flour in a bowl with all the herbs and spices; set aside.

2. Mix the buttermilk and egg together in a separate bowl until combined. Soak the chicken in the buttermilk mixture at room temperature, 20-30 minutes.

3. Remove chicken from the buttermilk, allowing excess to drip off. Dip the chicken pieces in the herb-spice-flour mixture to coat all sides, shaking off excess. Allow to sit on a rack over a baking sheet, 20 minutes.

4. Meanwhile, heat about 3 inches of the oil in a large Dutch oven (or similar heavy pot with high sides) over medium-high heat to 350 degrees. (Use a deep-frying thermometer to check the temperature.) When temperature is reached, lower the heat to medium to maintain it at 350. Fry 3 or 4 pieces at a time, being careful not to crowd the pot. Fry until medium golden brown, turning once, 15-18 minutes. Transfer chicken pieces to a baking sheet covered with paper towels. Allow the oil to return to temperature before adding more chicken. Repeat with remaining chicken.

Even if that is the recipe, until I figure out how to make those biscuits at home, I’m still hitting up the KFC drive-thru. [Via Daily Mail]

Me

I rarely put myself on this list, but I’m making an exception here. Why, you ask? Well, today is my birthday and Sunday I came down with the stomach bug. So…yeah, half of my weekend sucked..

Image via Emilio100 / Shutterstock

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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