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One of the biggest traditions of the Olympics is having everyone fall head-over-heels in love with the U.S. Women’s Gymnastics Team. Seriously, go back in time and you’d be hard-pressed to find a team that wouldn’t be considered #goals by today’s standards. It was Shawn Johnson, now it’s Simone Biles, and for the last two Olympics, you can toss Aly Raisman in there for good measure.
She talked to Us Magazine and jotted down twenty-five facts about herself. They revealed that despite being a gold medalist, she’s still a completely basic 22-year-old girl. While I’m not sure if that’s reassuring or not, her answers didn’t fail to entertain.
Let’s explore.
1. I hate grapefruit and celery.
I don’t know what type of restrictions this magazine put on Aly, but really unique choice to lead with hating two incredibly simple and straight-forward foods. But, like, I bet she considers herself to be so quirky for hating these. Ugh, she just can’t stand them.
2. I watched the 1996 Womens’ Olympic Team final every day as a kid. I saw it for the first time when I was 8. My mom had a VHS tape.
Maybe that’s the reason she became an Olympian and I became a blogger. I watched Mighty Ducks 2 as a kid every day so I guess my ceiling was winning the Junior Goodwill Games.
3. My favorite shoes for lounging, traveling and shopping are Reebok Skyscapes.
“Hey Aly, if you could drop a line about your ‘scapes in there, that’d be great.” – Reebok
4. I love sushi.
Yeah, you and every other 22-year-old girl.
5. I have two dogs and I am obsessed with them.
Based on everything in her list, it’s actually surprising she didn’t say “obsessed” more because being “obsessed” is the new “covet.”
6. I train inside all day, so I love walking outside — I love the fresh air!
Oh, man, Aly. That totally differentiates you from every other person on the entire planet.
7. My favorite part of the day is coming home after practice and putting my Revision Skincare products on my face.
“Hey Aly, if you could drop a line about your skincare products in there, that’d be great.” – Revision Skincare
8. One makeup product I can’t live without is either lip gloss or baby-pink lipstick.
It’s always perplexed me that gymnasts are required to wear a full face of make-up. Like, I get it, golfers dress weird as hell considering they’re playing a sport outside. But sweating with full make-up on? Nah.
9. I love Celine Dion.
Wow, I thought you were Team USA, Aly. Leave her to Canada and adopt someone American like Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey. Respect the flag.
10. I am a professional shower singer and car singer. (I sound really good in the car, as long as the music is turned up!)
Ohhhh, Aly! So self-deprecating! Ugh, that’s totally what makes you so relatable. Love.
11. My arms get so tired from bar routines that I sometimes don’t brush my hair!
What?! You don’t… brush your hair?! Ugh, Aly, you’re so bad.
12. If I weren’t a gymnast, I’d be a soccer player.
Really going out on a limb there. “Oh, I can’t be a freak athlete in this sport? Okay, I’ll be a freak athlete in that sport.
13. I’m a grandma. I’m 22 going on 50.
Who has a fifty-year-old grandma?
14. I secretly wish I could go shopping with Taylor Swift and Blake Lively. (Who doesn’t?)
I’ll give Aly credit here considering most girls would choose Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer, but we are talking about a girl who chose glitter dancing as a career so I’m not all that surprised.
15. My mom put me in gymnastics when I was 2. I always wonder what I’d be doing if she hadn’t.
Probably watching other gymnasts from your work computer thinking, “Man, these girls have really thick necks,” like the rest of us.
16. I have watched Gossip Girl the whole way through twice and have no shame watching it again.
Spoiler Alert: Dan is Gossip Girl.
17. My favorite leotards are the patriotic ones from my signature collection with GK Elite.
“Hey Aly, if you could drop a line about your leotards in there, that’d be great.” – GK Elite
18. I would be a horrible hockey player or ice-skater — I can’t walk on the ice without wiping out.
Honestly, being from Massachusetts, that’s pretty disappointing. But I don’t believe it for a second. If you can do flips on a balance beam, you have enough balance to coast on some ice skates.
19. I’m the girliest person I know.
Well, yeah, you’re a professional gymnast. That’s like having a UFC fighter say, “I’m the toughest dude I know.” If you didn’t have that ingrained in your core, you wouldn’t be where you are today.
20. I can literally shop until I drop.
Like…literally.
21. [Ukrainian] Lilia Podkopayeva is my favorite gymnast. It is my dream to meet her.
Mine is Simone Biles. How ya like that, Aly?
22. I am the oldest of four, but my younger sister bosses me around.
Why don’t you slap her in the face with one of your gold medals? Stop being a beta female.
23. I love the beach.
How do you get so hard-pressed for ideas that you revert to liking the beach as one of the 25 things that defines you?
24. I daydream about the Olympics 24/7.
Well, yeah, you’re a gymnast. That’s your peak. I dream about going viral and breaking the website 24/7 because when that happens, we still stack pageviews and I can take two-week-long vacations without feeling bad.
25. I am only good at gymnastics — I’m extremely uncoordinated in any other sport.
Yeah, no. I guarantee you can sprint most people out of the gym and lift more than 99 percent of people out there. You’re like the poster child for CrossFit and you don’t even know it. But then again, CrossFit is essentially just exercising and not a sport so I guess that’s nothing to brag about. .
[via Us Magazine]
If you enjoy Olympic banter and really bad ideas on how to improve future Olympic Games, listen to the most recent episode of Touching Base on iTunes, or listen on SoundCloud below.
Image via YouTube
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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“I like the beach” wasn’t creative, but then again I would’ve run out of shit to say 15 points before that. 1. I work in accounting. 2. I probably drink too much on Thursdays. 3… I like the beach?
Also, anyone who says they wouldn’t dedicate 3/25 points to corporate sponsors is a blatant liar. I’d try to average around 2 product placements per point
Also this layout fucking sucks
Kinda like man outfitters placements in articles.
“Hey TomDevito if you could drop a flattering line on our Patagonia prices that’d be great.” – Man Outfitters
Look at the pot telling the kettle to stop being a beta female
“Stop being a beta female” – Will DeFries, beta male
Gotta call the kettle black and deflect from your own beta-ness. Classic Beta Male shifting.
I respect the move DeFries. Would’ve been criminal of me to not point it out though.
your name is whiskey dick
Considering she’s a two time Olympian, I’d say she’s a lot more accomplished than most basic bitches. I didn’t see pizza, wine, and Netflix on that list.
I would propose to her in a heartbeat.
Making fun of a decorated two time Olympian… Nice
TGDAG: Compete in the Olympics
*Watch The Olympics and Decide to Take One Acro-Yoga / That Weird Shit Where They Hang From The Drapes Class
And over/under on number of minutes it would take for her to leave Acro-Yoga because her partner either smelled bad, was “gross” or creeped her out is 18.
Way, way under. I’m thinking 10 minutes before she complains it’s “Impossible.”
“I like long walks at that place where sand meets water and that cool little woooshy noise happens a lot and stuff.”
Dang Will, coming off like a pmsing high schooler in this
Do you not read a lot of my stuff or something? That’s kinda my thing.
thought that was JD’s thing