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A new study from mediocre fitness brand Reebok has determined that the average human spends less than half of 1 percent of their life knocking boots and slapping cellulite.
The study found that people are much more likely to sit on their ass in the office or screw around on technology than they are to engage in sexual relations. This is particularly sad because almost 100 percent of males dedicate 95-99 percent of their brain capacity thinking about it.
From The New York Post:
According to a new study from Reebok, in partnership with global consultancy Censuswide, the average person spends less than 1 percent (only .45 percent!) of their life having sex. Altogether, that’s a measly 117 days spent knocking boots.
For the study, the fitness brand surveyed more than 9,000 people from nine countries to see what the average human does with their 25,915 days on Earth. (That’s how much time you get if you live until you’re 71.)
Interesting. So what extremely sad thing are we doing instead of banging?
Turns out, we spend more time working up a sweat in other ways than we do boning. The average person devotes .69 percent (or about 180 days) of their life to exercise, according to the survey. (Perhaps we’re working out that sexual frustration?)
Apparently, we spend about 30 percent of our days glued to our seats (at home or at the office) and 41 percent of our lives engaging with technology. That’s 10,625 days!
Of course.
I wonder how much masturbation inflates the number? Probably knocks it up to somewhere between 10 – 15 percent, honestly.
There you have it, folks. The one thing you focus a majority of your time on mentally is one of the things you experience very little physically throughout the course of your life. Sex is as rare for you as “exercising” or “being fulfilled with your job.” Satisfaction in life is minimal. Buy a dog or some shit.
I guess that means it’s time to realign some of those priorities. Let’s make 2016 the most fuckable year to date..
[via New York Post]
Image via YouTube
Respond
Makes sense. I could have sex twice a day, every day and still need to figure out what to do with the other 23 hours and 58 minutes
Is it just me or does having sex for 117 days in your lifetime actually sound pretty good?
Call me crazy but the first ~16% of life is pretty sexless. Then again my uncles were pretty standoffish
isnt it funny how the #1 fitness brand associated with Crossfit does a study on the lack of sex people are having. Reebok was probably established by the CIA to make Crossfit a global pandemic that has no cure which would lead to less sexual pleasure for the masses so it’s like a pseudo dictatorship that also is a hidden form of population control disguised behind shitty sneakers and muddy tires with smiling ego maniacs who are crossing gender lines with their muscular builds but their hardened, unintelligent brains can’t correlate these facts so they use social media to spread their misguided gospel as if they are crusaders. But we all know the truth, don’t we? We all know that every Crossfitter was once a fat kid who never used to play sports or work out and could never get laid so they leaned out and became sort of athletic to try and get laid but it’s a catch 22 for them because they still can’t get laid unless they lay each other which is extremely sad in itself but it’s kind of like seeing animals trapped in a zoo because they have nowhere else to go now due to their immensely poor life choices.
What he said
Right up until your wife decides she needs a baby, RIGHT NOW, and then you get so sick of fucking and all you want to do is watch goddamn Law & Order reruns. Real Talk.
Does PGP think that “That Awkward Moment” is the best movie ever made?
Hey Bro you heard about Temps?
Hey man, it’s the greatest love story since Squints and Wendy Peffercorn.