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Let me set the scene: I’m taking a leisurely stroll down swanky danky Park Avenue in NYC. It’s both sexy and pretentious, open but unattainable. This place is lined with exclusive penthouse apartments, where business executives chill on ancient scotch and women wear couture. I was contemplating my life, and what I would have to do with my soul and my body to be able to afford a life like that. Sell them both, presumably.
And then it happened. A wave of cool air brushed past me, disrupting my disheveled day dream. A full grown man, rocking the living hell out of a three-piece suit and a killer leather briefcase glided past me. On a Razor Scooter.
So many questions flooded my mind. Why? Where are you going? Did you lose a bet? Did you win a bet? Are you running so life-threateningly late for a meeting that you not only didn’t have time to rent a Citi bike but instead had to knock over a small child and steal his scooter for the greater good? Is there a community of employed adults who ride scooters? Can I join?
And I’ll be damned, that man changed my life. I think about it every day. What if I just bit the bullet? What if I lit my metrocard on fire, deleted my Uber app, and flipped off all the cab drivers in New York? What if I went out, took my hard-earned cash, and spent it on a shiny new Razor Scooter instead of 14 pitchers of Bud Light? Is this who I am? Is this who I have always wanted to be?
It’s not like I’ve never seen anyone in New York do something unconventional before. (If I had a nickel for the amount of times I’ve been mooned on my way to work…I could probably afford to live on Park Ave.) And it’s not like I’ve never seen anyone ride a Razor scooter, either. But they’ve always been either A.) An actual child, for whom scooters are intended, or B.) Someone who’s a straight-up nerd. There’s nothing wrong with being either of those things, of course. It’s just that this new man changed my perspective. He took my self-constructed limitations on riding a Razor scooter and just dropped a bomb.
What I’m saying is, this guy was a boss on all levels, and I, a freshman in the real world, admire his thirst for life, superior transportation skills, and disruption of my naivety. Scooter man, keep on scooting. .
Image via Shutterstock
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cflammia
I found mine from 2nd grade and used to wheel around to friends apartments in college. It even had a hook to carry a bag of beer. It was great until I busted ass in front of a large group of people.
I would semi-annually get too drunk on mine and just eat it. Most recently twice in the same day.. Worth it though!
But did he have the wheelie attachment with the lights? He’s not rad otherwise, duhhhh
A group of weirdos in college rode those scooters and called themselves the Scootopian Society.
Solid article, roller skates would be faster though.
Speed of transition though. You have to sit down and take off the roller blades and switch back into your regular shoes.
I started riding one a few years ago in college and now they are all over that campus.
Gotta go with the big wheels though so a stick or pebble doesn’t ruin your day.