Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====

There are few things harder than coming back to work after an extra-long weekend. Of course, I wouldn’t know, since I was in the office to hold down the fort on Friday since the rest of the people on my team took a vacation day, as that I work in one of those places that follows the “if the stock market is open, so are we!” rule and therefore, someone actually has to be in the building.

Still, it wasn’t a bad weekend. I fell off my low-carb diet wagon directly into a vat of mashed potatoes and stuffing on Thursday, and followed it up with pizza and pasta throughout the weekend. So while this Monday may be a tough one as I attempt to get the high-protein diet train back on track, I at least had a better weekend than these people.

Reese’s

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it’s time to indulge in the one of the best parts of the holiday season – Christmas candy. Of course, it’s been in stores since the day after Halloween, but I’ve managed to restrain myself until now. And one of my favorite snacks is Reese’s Peanut Butter Trees. I wait all year for the grainy peanut butter coated in chocolate.

But if I’m honest, this delicious treat has never exactly looked like a tree; it’s always been more in the shape of a blob. Frankly, I think the folks at Reese’s use the same mold for the “trees” as they do for their Halloween “pumpkins” and Easter “eggs,” but I don’t care as long as I can shove that deliciousness in my pie hole. But for some reason, the internet decided to take notice of it this year and started tweeting their complaints at Reese’s:

This Burglar in California
During the holiday season, kids eagerly wait for Santa Claus to come down the chimney with gifts galore. But one homeowner in California found someone different in his chimney this weekend…after he lit a fire and accidentally killed him. A homeowner in Huron, CA, near Fresno, had just started a fire in his fireplace on Saturday afternoon when he heard someone yell from inside the chimney. Since the chimney was blocked by the would-be burglar, the man’s house began to fill with smoke, so he called 911. Firefighters used jackhammers to open the chimney in an attempt to rescue the intruder. The prowler was alive and moving in the chimney during the rescue, but died soon after. Note to would be trespassers: maybe it’s smarter to use a window? [via ABC7]

Jahlil Okafor
A while back, I wrote that Jahlil Okafor had a bad weekend when he was drafted to the Philadelphia 76ers, one of the NBA’s worst teams.. Well, apparently things haven’t gotten better for Okafor since the season has begun. While his on-the-court performances have been promising, despite a 0-17 start, dude has been having some issues outside the arena. In early October, Okafor reportedly had a gun pointed at his head by a heckler outside of a Philadelphia club and over Thanksgiving, TMZ reported that Okafor was in a fight outside of a Boston nightclub early Thursday morning. Then on Sunday, Keith Pompey of the Philadelphia Inquirer reported that the center was allegedly pulled over for driving 108 mph on the city’s Ben Franklin Bridge in early November. Not exactly choices that you want the face of your franchise to be making and people are starting to notice. Better get your shit together, kid. [via Bleacher Report]

Isis (A Little Girl, Not The Terrorists)
I have to imagine that having your name be Isis in this day and age is one giant pain in the ass. Of course, you were more likely named after the Greek goddess of nature and magic rather than the terrorist group, but no one is going to make that distinction. Your mom is going to call out your name in Target to find you and people are going to dive under the racks for cover. Simply introducing yourself to your seatmate on an airplane could cause an international incident. And worst of all? You can’t get a personalized jar of Nutella. An Australian woman attempted to buy her niece, Isis, a personalized jar of the hazelnut spread at a Myer department store in Shellharbour and was denied, according to Isis’ mother, Heather. According to the Sydney Morning Herald, “Myer told Ms. Taylor that Nutella had a protocol for acceptable names and directed her to Nutella’s parent company, Ferrero Australia.” And then, “Ferrero chief executive Craig Barker personally contacted her the next day to stand by the company’s position.” The company then issued a statement saying, “Like all campaigns, there needs to be consistency in the way terms and conditions are applied. Unfortunately, this has meant there have been occasions where a label has not been approved on the basis that it could have been misinterpreted by the broader community or viewed as inappropriate.” Let be directly address the folks at Nutella here: you realize the Greek goddess of the disadvantaged has been around for thousands of years, right? You also realize that you are denying a cute little gift for a FIVE YEAR OLD, correct? Which particularly sucks given that that poor kid has probably never, ever found a pencil or a keychain with her name on it because her parents are hippies that named her something weird. Stop letting the terrorists win and give the girl her jar of chocolate hazelnut deliciousness already. [via The Sydney Morning Herald]

Bill Furay
Earlier this month, the internet freaked out over the grinning mugshot of 19-year-old Texas college student Sarah Furay, who was arrested after College Station police officers found cocaine, marijuana, ecstasy and methamphetamine in her apartment, along with packaging materials, two digital scales and a handwritten drug price list. She was branded the “an adorable drug kingpin.”

That’s because it was revealed this weekend that the father of the girl with “the happiest mugshot in America” is a gentleman named Bill Furay, who happens to be a supervising agent for the DEA’s office in Beaumont, Texas. Yes, that’s right – her dad is a high ranking official for the Drug Enforcement Agency.

Ack.

According to The Daily Mail, Daddy Furay’s record “includes successful operations that targeted drug traffickers including ‘Operation Blood Loss’ in 2009 and ‘Operation Agent Orange’ in June 2010. Following the latter operation, he stated, “Basically, we’re targeting criminal organizations, gangs, trying to hit them where they live and breathe.”

Perhaps he should have been looking under his own roof? [via The Daily Mail] .

Image via Twitter

17

Respond

Email this to a friend

Hey, I saw this on Post Grad Problems. Check it out.

Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

• @JennaLCrowley
• @donttakeitfromus