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- You play James Taylor’s “Fire and Rain” while looking at old pictures on Facebook.
- You’ve changed jobs at least three times since graduating.
- You’ve changed cities at least three times since graduating.
- You’ve done serious research into whether a buying a house or a getting a graduate degree would be a better investment.
- You keep talking about getting a dog, but refuse to commit.
- You attempt to be productive while hungover, but end up just trying to look productive and then falling asleep underneath that bookshelf you were trying to clean.
- You won’t drink for weeks on end and then will randomly black out at happy hour.
- You bought a mini Bose stereo for your bedroom instead of a sound bar for your TV.
- You’d spend time at weddings networking, but you get too drunk.
- You don’t hide your dependency on alcohol as well as you used to.
- You’re starting to enjoy your parents’ taste in music.
- You were supposed to get new tires on your car, but went to Vegas instead.
- You couldn’t bring yourself to break up with your girlfriend, so you just proposed instead.
- You couldn’t bring yourself to break up with your boyfriend, so you accepted his proposal instead.
- You’re Instagramming an average of 1.3 meals per day.
- You’re trying to convince others (and yourself) that you enjoy your job with several positive tweets about your job throughout the week.
- You’ve attempted to rekindle an old high school flame, but only gotten a pregnancy scare out of it.
- You broke down in tears after making chicken cacciatore for one, three nights in a row.
- You take a healthy swig from your drink whenever someone at the bar asks you how your job is going.
- You’ve covered the entire spectrum from baby envy to baby hate all in a 12-hour period.
- You’ve had panic attacks over whether or not you should call your parents asking for money.
- You’ve refused an invitation to go out drinking in fear of overdrafting your bank account on a payday.
- You were laughed at after suggesting you and some friends use your vacation days to go on spring break.
- You get anxiety over the cost of double-ply toilet paper.
- You tried going vegan.
“You were supposed to get new tires on your car, but went to Vegas instead.”
I’m laughing so hard right now… I just moved to Vegas to live my aunt and I’m looking for a job (obviously) But anyway, whats funny is that I needed new tires while driving my car out here…I stopped in Juarez and got them for a huge discount.
#10 is too true. It all of sudden turned from ‘this dude likes to party’ into ‘he’s blackout again on a Wednesday.. you might need to slow down bud”
alcohol>food