Five People That Had A Worse Weekend Than You

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Another weekend over, another Monday upon us. After a belated birthday celebration with a friend who couldn’t join me last weekend, I am not only riding the struggle bus this morning, I’m driving the damn thing. Since I’m probably still drunk, that’s not really a good idea. But even though it hurts a bit this morning, I definitely had an awesome weekend. Or at the very least, it was better than some people’s.

American Runner Molly Huddle

Two months ago, I told you about a guy named Ben Payne who celebrated a little bit too early and subsequently lost the 10K he was running. Well, apparently American runner Molly Huddle wasn’t paying attention. She was competing in the 10,000-meter race at the 2015 World Championships in Beijing and it looked like she was going to come in third, nabbing a bronze medal. Huddle slowed up on her last few steps to celebrate third place…only to be passed by her teammate Emily Infield. Infield’s medal was the first world championship medal for a non-African born runner in the 10,000m since 2007. An honor that Huddle would have had if she had just listened to us: you never, ever celebrate until you’ve finished.

[via Cosmopolitian]

The Pennsylvania Little League Team

Apparently, we are revisiting that same column a few times this week. A few months ago, we got all high and mighty because the U.S. beat the Japanese Women’s Soccer Team, battering them 5-2. Well, the Japanese enacted their revenge this weekend, albeit in a different sport. In the highest-scoring title game in Little League World Series history, the Japanese team beat the U.S. team from Pennsylvania by a score of 18-11. The Pennsylvania team did take the lead in the bottom of the first inning with 10 runs, but after that, it was pretty much all-Japan, all the time. Of course, we do still have that World War II thing in our win column, but Twitter wasn’t around then, so does it really even count?

Zac Efron

Okay, I suppose it’s hard to have a hard weekend when you look like this:

But even the hottest dudes have an off weekend now and again, and this weekend was one of those for the ab-tastic wonder known as Zefron. His new movie, We Are Your Friends, had the worst opening of all time for a major new studio movie opening in wide release (aka on over 2,000 screens), earning a dismal $1.8 million in 2,333 theaters. The studio is standing behind Efron, with Warner Brothers’ executive Vice President for domestic distribution Jeff Goldstein saying, “This was a passion project for Zac Efron, and we believe in him. Yes, the result was disappointing, but this was a small film.”

Let’s hope Neighbors 2 does a bit better. [via Hollywood Reporter]

Carl Banks

It’s always nice when your coworkers recognize your birthday. Of course, my birthday fell on a Saturday last week, so it was pretty much a non-event in my office – those cheap bastards didn’t even get me a freaking cupcake. But not so for former Giants linebacker Carl Banks, who was celebrating his 53rd birthday on Saturday while calling the Giants-Jets preseason game.

Banks’ co-host, Bob Papa, told Banks, “You’re No. 58, but you’re not 58 on your birthday,” before he reached off-screen to grab a birthday cake. Now, I’m a little disappointed that the best Papa could do for Banks was what looks to be a grocery-store cake written on by the fifteen year old kid who usually collects the shopping carts, but then it gets worse. Papa attempts to show the cake to the camera and tilts it just enough that it slides off the tray onto the floor.

So not only does Banks have to work on his birthday, he has to eat this cake off the ground, Friends-style.

[via New York Daily News]

Justin Bieber

The Biebs had quite the up and down weekend. To kick it off, Bieber was pulled over on a residential street in Beverly Hills on Saturday night for going well over the 25 mph speed limit in his brand new Ferrari, as well as having illegally tinted windows. Although it took four cop cars to deal with the incident, Justin was sent on his way with speeding and equipment violations.

On Sunday, it was time for his big comeback – the MTV VMAs, where he hadn’t sang since 2010 and he would perform his new single, What Do You Mean. Unfortunately, his arrival on the red carpet took the focus away from his music and put it on his hair, with some pretty unflattering comparisons appeared in the Twitterverse:

As for the the Biebs’ big performance, I must say it wasn’t half bad. Of course, I watched it online this morning, because I was watching football instead of the VMAs like all real Americans should have been. However, at the end, Justin seemed to have some kind of emotional breakdown, sobbing like a girl on a diet at a brunch buffet. According to TMZ, the sobfest started when Justin “began musing about the twists and turns of life.” Dude, I’m all about self-reflection, but maybe not on a stage in front of millions of people?

But…Bieber did also drop his new video this weekend, in which he pretty much just rolls around with model Xenia Dali. So, he probably did still have a better weekend than you.

[via TMZ]

Image via YouTube

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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