Single Dude’s Guide To Picking A Wedding Date

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Gentlemen, you’re single and you’ve been invited to a good friend’s wedding. Who do you bring? What lucky lady will be receiving that bid card? If you’re in the wedding, then you won’t be around your date all that much. If the friend is so close that your family will be around, that also changes your potential date dynamic. But barring those two potential obstacles, what are your options as a single man in his mid to late-twenties?

1. The Girl You Just Met

So the wedding is a month away. One of your friends, or his awful girlfriend, made a comment at the wedding shower that you wouldn’t be bringing anyone because “you don’t date people.” For whatever reason, you decide you’re going to bring Jane “random who you hit on last week.” If you’re going this route, make sure they are somewhat attractive and somewhat intelligent. You’re taking this random person because you don’t want to be alone, or you are trying to show your friends that you can get whoever you want. So if you truly are bringing someone you just met, she needs to be able to pass the “eye test.” It’s all about the initial entrance with your date into the ceremony. Once the reception is over, it’ll be dark and everyone will be hammered. You are bringing this girl because you don’t want to be alone and because you want to make your friends jealous.

The pitfalls of “The Girl you just met” are many. She could end up being a closet alcoholic, she could end up having a debilitating nut allergy, but really, the biggest reason you may want to avoid the person you just met is because she is a wildcard. You don’t know very much about this girl, hell you might not even know her middle name. While it could work out just fine, there is a huge risk in taking the girl you just met, so plan accordingly and have an exit strategy.

2. The Girl You’ve Gone Out With A Couple Times

First off, let me say this: As a general rule, if you’ve gone out with someone more than twice and you aren’t dating her, then there is a reason. Maybe she’s a messy eater, maybe she talks too much, maybe she has terrible gas… whatever the reason, this should factor into your decision. Regionally, be aware that in the South a date to a wedding can be a big deal to some girls. It’s not just another party, it’s a “celebration of love,” so buyer beware! If you take the girl you’ve been out with a couple times, and you both enjoy the wedding, but she thinks it means something – look out. She’ll be blowing you up and asking about the next time you want to go out. IF you are using this wedding as a dry run to see if she will get along with your friends, then please refer to “The Girl you want to date,” but if you aren’t sold on dating this girl, you may want to think twice about inviting her. This is a safer pick than the girl you just met, but the repercussions could be just as poor. Nobody wants a stage-fiver calling you every two days for three weeks.

3. The Floozy

I used this name to describe this potential date because that’s what my father used to call “easy” girls. This is the person who will be fun, and will definitely go home with you at the end of the night, but just like all the candidates there are some possible issues. There is a possibility they have slept with someone else at the wedding. No need to explain that issue, really. It could just be awkward, or worse, it could be a conflict waiting to happen. Also, there is a possibility people will know she is “easy” and will talk shit about you all night. This girl is great for those men who will need that loving at the end of the night regardless of what people think, but you should probably avoid this person if your parents are going to be around. Personally, if no one knows her and she looks good on your arm, I say go for it. It will most likely be a good time and the end of your night will be better than your friends who end up sleeping on the roll away bed because they had one too many shots with the groom’s dad.

4. The “Just Friends Girl”

This is most likely the safest pick. The two of you get along very well. Your friends probably like her, too. She can hold her liquor, she’s an awesome dancer, and she knows just enough about global economics to talk to that uncle that works for the government. The biggest problem with taking the girl you are just friends with is 1.) you know you’re sleeping alone at the end of the night, and 2.) all your friends know you’re sleeping alone at the end of the night. It’s almost the scale the wedding date question tips on, and in this case, you are very likely going to be snuggling with a pillow and not this girl. This is a low risk, low reward pick.

5. The Girl You Want To Date

This one is a common pick, especially by men. The thinking is that you’ll take her to your buddy’s wedding, and when you’re around all that love and warm fuzzie bullshit, she’ll fall head over heels. It’s a bold strategy, and I’ve seen it pan out a couple times, but it could also backfire. It could convince her that you are a great person and she’ll be overcome by wedding feelings and fall madly in love with you. The other possibility is she gets jealous of your friends relationship, starts wondering why that isn’t her up there with the “man of her dreams,” and treats you like shit all night because she doesn’t believe you are that guy. It could pay off or it could end terribly…. it’s the gamble you take.

Weddings are supposed to be a good time, so when you make your decision weigh the pros and cons. The right choice could end up paying a lot of dividends, but the wrong choice could jeopardize all future “plus 1” invitations..

Image via Shutterstock

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