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Even though we’re basically living in a better future than “Back to the Future” ever dreamed of, things are still just a little too hard for us humans to deal with. Yeah, we have apps that can deliver us food on demand with the touch of our fingers, but first we have to take our phones out of our pockets, unlock them with a password, swipe our way to the app, click on the app, open the app, and THEN we can actually order the food. But still, that’s way too much work. And what if we want to order flowers, plane tickets, groceries, Jethro Tull tickets, the album “Frampton Comes Alive,” and so on? We can’t do that. That’s not the future. That’s bullshit.
Well, now some geniuses have come up with the easiest way of ordering things possible, and it’s called Magic.
How does this app work? Well, for starters, it’s not an app, so shut your damn lying mouth. It’s a texting service. That’s the simple, elegant beauty of it. All you have to do is text the number and tell them what you want, and it basically acts as a concierge service for you. It’s like having your own personal butler. Take THAT, Ask Jeeves.
Once you text them what you want, they’ll tell you the price, ask you any follow-up questions necessary, and it’ll be all taken care of. Simple and elegant, although you are paying for the service on top of whatever you order. It’s definitely cheaper if you just order your pizza on Seamless or go down to your local record store and ask for a copy of “Frampton Comes Alive,” but dammit, your time is far too valuable to waste on such matters!
Unfortunately, the service only handles legal requests. You can’t ask for weed. You’ll still have to do your own dirty work to find a drug dealer. You probably also can’t ask it to get you laid, unless it’s legal in your municipality. I don’t know, I’m not a lawyer. But shit, all you have to do to sign up for the service is text the word “Magic” to (408) 217-1721 and it’ll sign you right the hell up. It’s gotten so popular, there’s now a waiting list.
Looks like we’re one step closer to becoming the disgustingly obese amorphous blobs that the movie “Wall-E” predicted we’d turn into.
I’m totally down with that. Thanks Magic! Bring on the fat, lazy future..
[via Business Insider]
Image via Shutterstock
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@FireJayTas
Will it deliver good ideas for columns and general comedic ability? #FireJayTas
Can I request a new job?
“I want someone to come do my laundry and cook for me”
“I’ll have your mother there in 8 hours for $23.76, ok?”
Pretty sure both services are provided by existing companies in your example at a significantly cheaper price… #FIREJAYTAS2015