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Temps is now available! Temps follows Jefferson (Grant Rosenmeyer, The Royal Tenenbaums), a temp worker whose only career goal is to afford an annual ski trip with his best friend and fellow temp, Curtis (Reid Ewing, Modern Family). When Jefferson falls for co-worker Stephanie (Lindsey Shaw, Pretty Little Liars), an ambitious go-getter, he is forced to re-evaluate his minimum wage, minimum commitment lifestyle. Produced by Grandex Productions, Temps is now out in select theaters and video-on-demand platforms.
Things happen. Company happy hours can turn themselves into sloppy messes where you wake up next to a colleague. Holiday parties can turn into you having a drunk conversation with your work-wife, only for that to turn into a brown-out make-out that causes you to walk on eggshells for the next two weeks.
Hooking up at the office… don’t do it. Here’s why.
It’s lazy.
You’re probably the same guy who preys on hammered chicks at the bar before last call. Is that a good look? No, so neither is dipping your pen in the company ink.
Your superiors know what’s going on. If they see you canoodling with Sarah in HR rather than working the room at a company happy hour, they’re going to think you’re not willing to go great lengths to get the job done.
You don’t shit where you eat so why would you fuck where you work? Exactly.
You can’t ghost.
Be honest with yourself here — not every relationship ends with wedding bells. I’m not necessarily advocating ghosting, but I am advocating cutting things off clean. You’re kidding yourself if you think it’s a good idea to sit in a meeting with a former hookup and think that some of your controversial ideas won’t get shot down for all the wrong reasons.
It’s awkward enough seeing a former flame in your local watering home let alone when you’re trying to grind.
She’ll ask you to go to lunch with her.
You’re either a squad-lunch guy or a lone wolf. That’s just what lunch is all about — doing you. Don’t get caught with your dick in your (or her) hand when you’re trying to clear your mind between 12 p.m. and 1 o’clock.
Don’t turn your lunch break into a damn date and let it be the sacred beast that it is.
You’ve got enough distractions as it is.
When you’re busy G-chatting with your buddies and updating your fantasy lineup, you don’t have time to deal with the emotional baggage of a sloppy hookup. Meanwhile, you’re supposed to be in meetings and doing reports while you’re sitting there thinking, “Is she intensely working on something or is she looking at photos of me on Facebook with my old flame?”
It’s a shitty reason to get canned.
You really want to sit in an interview with someone in the future and explain to them that you’re sitting there because you had a drunken night with a six from your old gig? That’s just not a good look.
If you’re going to get fired, get fired because you were gunning for someone’s power position or because you stopped giving a fuck when you realized the company you worked for was a dead-end. Tuck it in.
Oh, hey, speaking of hooking up with someone in your office, Jefferson and Stephanie from Temps did it, which is available for rent on iTunes now. See for yourself.
Rent it now, you won’t regret it. .
Respond
Hey Grandex, should I rent Temps?
1 reason you should bang a coworker: SEX
I banged a coworker during an internship in college. We “went to lunch together” most days.
Plot twist: we’re getting married next year, so telling people how we met is always interesting.
Respect
-Phil Anselmo
Be less subtle about Temps, you can’t.
Amazing profile name. Fuck Tom Collins.
My now-wife got me my job at her company when we were dating. I proposed the weekend before I started, so all of my coworkers knew I just had gotten engaged my first day. She did work in an office in a different town though, so it wasn’t a total change.
Too Late. What now?
A crumby commercial?
Madison reviewed temps and gave it 5 stars. Shameless self-promotion. #PGPM