There is a fine line between being drunk and being wasted. You’re drunk if you’re having a good time, rocking a solid buzz, and goofing off with your friends. You’re wasted if you’re tripping over things that don’t exist and you can’t walk in a straight line without assistance. Beyond that, there is an even finer line-one that exists in the depths of every female. It’s the line between being wasted and being “white girl wasted.”
WGW is a condition of intoxication most often brought on by an “I don’t give a fuck” mentality, and it’s known that your emotional state can contribute to how your body reacts to alcohol. Combine a girl who gives zero fucks with excessive amounts of alcohol and BOOM! White girl wasted.
- You spilled your drink on someone and apologized by kissing the person on the mouth.
- You told someone, “I seriously love you so much. Seriously.”
- You made elaborate drunk plans that you won’t remember tomorrow.
- You cut to the front of the bathroom line. Twice.
- You made the duck face in multiple photos.
- You were convinced every female bartender was being a bitch and intentionally ignoring you.
- You made a new BFF with some random in the bathroom.
- You secretly hoped Miley Cyrus was right when she sang, “Everyone in line in the bathroom, trying to get a line in the bathroom.”
- You got a guy’s number and saved it in your contacts as “DRFKW BAR.”
- You peed somewhere you weren’t supposed to.
- You rolled both ankles at separate times during the course of the night.
- No toilet paper? Fuck it, drip dry.
- You gave sex eyes to a guy and it went unreturned.
- You insisted on hosting after hours at your place when the bar closed.
- Your goal went from finding the hottest guy in the room to finding any guy in the room.
- You sent bathroom selfies with the caption “drunk” to 20+ Snapchat contacts.
- You pulled the old “puke and rally” and proceeded to tell everyone about it.
- Your dance moves were so explicit you should have charged people to watch.
- You kissed a girl and seriously contemplated switching teams.
- Your friends had to shush you for making rude comments too loud.
- You made up fake scenarios about what you thought people around you were talking about.
- You walked around with your shoes in your hands for the majority of the night.
- You went out with straight hair and woke up with a Medusa-looking hairdo.
- You fell asleep at the bar.
- You requested the same song to the DJ five times because you were too drunk to remember it already played.
- You have to break into your own house because you lost your keys. They were in your purse the whole time.
- You asked a stranger for a cigarette. You don’t smoke.
- You talked shit to someone who could easily beat you up.
- You flashed the skeevy bartender for the promise of a free drink.
- You ordered a round of lemon drops. You dry heaved after drinking yours.
- You drunk texted an ex.
- You called your mom crying. About what? You have no idea.
- You thought every girl in the room you didn’t know was giving you a dirty look.
- You sent out a tweet that you would regret. You deleted it in the morning.
- You went to bed with a full face of makeup and a full head of hair extensions.
Why do all the writers make it seem like every girl wants to go home with any guy? Where do these people live?