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During our college years, we accumulated some pretty awesome – and mostly free – stuff that seemed pretty cool at the time. Unfortunately, some of us haven’t realized that stuff was only cool while we were enrolled in school. Here are 3 key things worth upgrading in our postgrad lives.
1. The cheap, plastic, neon wayfarer sunglasses.
I’m guessing we all have at least 50 pairs of these things and they’re all a different color, with a different sorority or fraternity’s Greek letters stamped on the sides of them. This was convenient in school – we had a different pair to match every pair of Nike shorts or UnderArmor hoodie, plus, if we forgot to wear any that day, you could just reach down and there was a good chance there would be at least ten pairs on the ground at any given time. Throw away your hundreds of pairs of “Spring Break shades,” and invest in one pair of nice shades, such as Warby Parker, Ray Ban, or Steven Alan. Just imagine how silly David Caruso of CSI: Miami would’ve looked donning bright pink plastic shades as The Who cuts in with their “yowwwwww” screech.
2. The drawstring nylon bag.
It’s the perfect gym bag, able to hold a pair of shoes and your Dri-Fit gear. It has just enough room for a few books to take to class. But please, do not show up to the office sporting that awful thing. Do not sit down at the conference table and undo that drawstring to slide out the documents your boss needs. If you need something for the gym, get a stylish and functional gym bag that has more than one pocket with a zipper instead of a string. As for the office – if you’re like me, you don’t have the three thousand dollar suit to match a briefcase. I’d go with a leather messenger bag. It’s the perfect size for your laptop, a few folders, some coloring books, and a flask – for those especially slow Mondays.
3. The plastic cups.
Open a college kid’s cupboards and you’ll find a lot of stacks – not of money, but of plastic cups. You order the large soda at your favorite sandwich shop because you can keep that awesome cup that’s dishwasher safe. Sometimes it even comes with a fancy straw and lid and voila! You’ve got a new on-the-go cup. You stayed behind at your school’s football games stacking up left behind cups, like a kid loading up on candy once the piñata bursts at your friend’s birthday party. Now, you’re an adult, and, while Solo cups at a party are still okay, if you’re cooking dinner for a date you better put that two dollar bottle of Trader Joe’s wine in something with a stem on it. And PBR tastes so much better when you pour it in a pint glass.
Respond
@graygill
True about pouring your cheap beer in a pint glass.
Non-prescription Oliver Peoples redwood-framed sunglasses
Jesus, how did a nitwit like you get so tasteful?