23 Cheap And Original Halloween Costumes

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Now that we’re out of college, it’s not so much the costume that’s the big deal, but the underlying concept that separates you from the pack of slutty ninja turtles and Captain Jack Sparrows (guys, that movie came out a million years ago).

So you don’t have to spend any of your precious Netflix bingeing time on exerting extra thought on your costume, here are 23 options that require little to no effort:

  1. The girl from Sia’s “Chandelier” music video.
  2. A parent living vicariously through his or her children (group costume).
  3. Your credit card statement from the month of your best friend’s wedding. Basically, print out a bunch of fake dollar bills, put them all over your body, and then set yourself on fire at the end of the night.
  4. Carry around a bottle of whipped cream and offer to be someone’s PSL.
  5. Pill bottle: wrap yourself in orange cellophane, cover any graphic bits with white, and add the prescription name of your choice. Don’t forget to build yourself a white cap!
  6. A slutty Girl Scout or Boy Scout. Make a sash that says “Troop D” and add graphic pins of your choice to a beige or green shirt, which should preferably be tied above the navel.
  7. Tape a bunch of leaves to yourself and carry around a pumpkin. You’re an Instagram!
  8. For the girls, wear Lilly Pulitzer, a bunch of pearls, and get inappropriately drunk. You’re someone’s future ex-wife!
  9. Go as a blogger: show up to a party unannounced in clothes you got for free or that your parents paid for. Start drinking all the alcohol, and when people ask who you are, get really angry that they don’t know.
  10. Just go in your underwear and never be without a drink. Yup, you’re your unused potential.
  11. A Pokémon that refuses to evolve and serves as a metaphor for your current mental and emotional state.
  12. Go with your friends as a former girl or boy band. No coordination required: just wear forearm sweatbands and abuse the substance of your choice.
  13. Dress and act like your ex’s new significant other to really make a cheap statement.
  14. Be yourself in 10 years. It’s like a choose your own adventure that you can make as slutty or as morbid as you want.
  15. Dress in all white and keep telling people to blow you. You’re cocaine!
  16. Be whatever takeout order you ate by yourself before going to the party. You already smell like and you’re incidentally wearing it, anyway.
  17. Group costume: JFK with his mistresses. Halfway through the night, have someone dressed as RFK fight him for Marilyn Monroe. Whoever wins gets to sleep with her. (The girl dressed as Marilyn must agree to this beforehand.)
  18. Put on a slutty cocktail dress and a tiara and just tell people you’re a fallen Disney princess who was stripped of her Disney movie rights for PR purposes after you broke out of rehab.
  19. Men, put on a flannel and start yelling while ripping off your clothes at inopportune times–you’re someone’s lumberjack fantasy!
  20. Go as a hunter and aim at anyone on his or her phone, because you’re exclusively gunning for the Twitter birds.
  21. Just take a lot of Xanax and go as your “best self.”
  22. Cover yourself entirely in glitter and show up as a Pinterest project gone wrong.
  23. Go as a “teen heartthrob” and keep asking people at the party you attend if they have a thing for jailbait.

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Writer in NYC. To quote Dr. Seuss, "Being crazy isn't enough."

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