21 Power Moves You Can Pull During Your First Job Interview

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  1. Establish a power position by kicking your feet up on the desk and putting your hands behind your head.
  2. Before the interviewer even speaks, say “Let’s talk salary and benefits.”
  3. Ask for a tour and inspect the stability of each desk by shaking it vigorously.
  4. “Sorry I’m late. You guys have one helluva shoe shine in the lobby.”
  5. Go buy a monogrammed leather padfolio and print your résumé on embossed wood grain.
  6. “What are your guys’ cubicles, 6×6? I’d prefer 7×7.”
  7. Show up in a town car.
  8. Say that your résumé “speaks for itself,” even though the most noteworthy thing on it is your mediocre college GPA.
  9. Ask the interviewer to call you by your first name before he or she addresses you.
  10. If the interviewer compliments your suit, tell him or her to go see Mark at JoS. A. Bank and “tell them that I sent you.”
  11. Refer to the recruiter who got you the interview as your agent.
  12. Ask the interviewer how quickly business cards are issued. And by business cards, you mean an expense account.
  13. When the interviewer asks you if you have any questions, let him or her know that you think “we covered all the bases.”
  14. “Glad I could squeeze you in before lunch.”
  15. Ask who your interviewer’s hair guy is.
  16. Be sure the interviewer knows about your tentative plans to attend business school, and ask how big the company’s tuition assistance package is.
  17. If the company sticks you with an HR rep for your first interview, repeatedly let the company know how displeased you are that you aren’t speaking with a senior VP.
  18. Hit on the secretary until someone comes to get you.
  19. When the interviewer asks you about your goals, say “To be sitting where you’re sitting.” Don’t give this person a timeframe.
  20. Make sure you mention profit sharing and stock options repeatedly.
  21. “How much do you make after taxes?”

Editor’s note: You will be unemployed forever if you do any of these things.

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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