21 Legitimate Excuses I Give Myself Everyday To Avoid Working Out

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I wish I were one of those people who enjoyed working out (if those people even truly exist). I just don’t. I haaaaate it, and it is, by far, the worst part of my day. It’s not that I don’t feel great afterwards, or don’t like reaping the benefits of fitness, because I do. It just angers me that I have to participate in such a time-consuming, monotonous activity in the first place. However, anger isn’t so much a legitimate excuse, as much as the following things can sometimes be, and you know damn well we’ve all used them.

1. I worked out yesterday (Only if you did, in fact, work out yesterday).
2. (Insert acquaintance’s name here) wants to happy hour. I need to be more social.
3. It’s early in the week. Plenty of time to catch up.
4. It’s too hot, and I’ve already been sweating all day, which is pretty much a workout.
5. It’s too cold. My body has been working out all day in attempts to keep me warm. Plus, it’s fleece season.
6. Honoring the Sabbath.
7. It’s Friday. No one works out on Fridays.
8. Welp, it’s too late. I won’t look any skinnier then than I do now (As an event you’ve known about for weeks is nearing).
9. I’m pretty sure cleaning up the house is the same thing as 45 minutes at the gym. I read that in Good Housekeeping one time.
10. I’ve walked around a LOT today.
11. I didn’t order pizza last weekend.
12. I’ll go after this nap. I need energy to work out.
13. FOUR HOURS LATER: Well shit, it’s dark outside, better just go to bed and have energy to workout tomorrow. I’ll eat first, so I have energy in the morning.
14. I’ve already started drinking.
15. I’ve heard only three days a week is sufficient.
16. Heard there’s a bug going around (EBOLA). Wouldn’t want to catch it at the gym.
17. Everyone deserves one of those days where you do nothing.
18. My shows are on tonight.
19. Too full. I need to let my food settle.
20. I’ve only eaten a salad today.
21. Busy writing an article about poor excuses not to workout.

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McMagistrate

After stretching college out for 9 years, McMagistrate is now an attorney in her late-ish 20's who earned her title by embracing the stigma that accompanies a healthy partying habit. She enjoys showing off her sub-par golf game and pretending her impressive law school loan doesn't exist. You can likely find her on her patio, live-tweeting her wine binges, and concerning her neighbors.

• @mcmagistrate