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As silly as it might be, the quarter life crisis is real. Sure, we’re being a bit overdramatic by whining about how old we feel, especially in front of people staring down the barrel of a much larger age threshold. But the fact is, hearing certain things can work as a reminder that we’re not carefree kids who only have to worry about girls, and where we’re gonna play basketball next weekend. Here’s a bunch that are sure to really bum you out, so I’d caution that you only read this if you’re really looking for a reason to drink tonight.
The youngest player in the NBA, Giannis Antokounmpo, was born in 1994. December of 1994.
There are kids graduating high school this year who weren’t born when “Space Jam” was released.
Colin Hanks, who played a senior in high school in “Orange County,” is now playing the father of a teenager in “Fargo.”
If the “South Park” characters had aged naturally, they would be three years out of college by now.
Justin Bieber was a month old when Kurt Cobain died.
In order to qualify for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, you have to have existed as a band for 25 years. The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Run DMC, Nirvana, Beastie Boys have all been inducted.
Pierce Brosnan, Tom Hanks, and Jim Carrey are all grandfathers.
“The Thong Song” is 15 years old. Actually, so is Enema of the State, Baby One More Time, and Human Clay.
The iPhone is seven years old. You were probably in high school or college when it was released.
Zack Morris hasn’t called “time out” in 20 years.
Kids born after NSync broke up are now in seventh grade.
Most new laptops don’t have a CD drive, because it’s considered an irrelevant technology.
Heath Ledger died five years ago.
Hilary Duff, Kenan & Kel, and four of the five Backstreet Boys are parents.
The premiere of “The Simpsons” is closer to the moon landing than it is to 2014.
Every single actor from “Beverly Hills: 90210” is in their 40s now.
It’s been over a decade since America saw Janet Jackson’s nipple on national TV.
There are kids in high school who were born in the 2000s.
There’s a fucking TV show about Cory and Topanga being the parents of a daughter who’s the same age they were when “Boy Meets World” began.
Kids born the same year as “Independence Day” was released will vote in this year’s elections.
Respond
I wonder why the fifth Backstreet Boy doesn’t have kids…
one of the promos for girl meets world said, verbatim: “before corey and topanga were parents they were kids just like you”
Kids born the year Mars Attacks came out are entering college this year.
Did you really reference a Creed album? Touche, sir.
While at a neighborhood happy hour last weekend, kids came in for pre-prom dinner. Their parents sat a few tables away from them. I was horrified.
I…. I need to lay down…
Heath Ledger died 6 years ago, actually, Randall. Just as if it weren’t already bad.
1. When I got my Macbook Pro a few months ago I was completely pissed that there wasn’t a CD drive.
2. At least I was a sophomore in high school when the iPhone came out. I thought I was a bad motherfucker being able to check FB at school.
Speaking of Hillary Duff. I hear she’s back on the market.