20 Things No One Tells You About Your 20s

The struggle is real. You graduated, but you’re not actually an adult. You’ve entered the work force, but you’re entirely unprepared. You’re in your 20s, but it’s not at all as seen on TV. Here’s what no one tells you about life after graduation.

  1. The quarter life crisis is real.
  2. There are no birthdays to look forward to after 21. Yeah, you can rent a car at 25, but have you ever spent time at an Enterprise? That place makes a quarter life crisis seem fun.
  3. Unlike college, there’s not free food everywhere you turn, and you have to grocery shop constantly if you’re not into a starvation diet.
  4. You eat fast food alone on your lunch break out of necessity, not after long nights out with friends when you’re too drunk to count calories.
  5. All of your college friends used to be in one place, and now everyone’s spread out (until the next wedding, at least).
  6. Facebook notifies you about a new engagement every day, in case you weren’t already struggling with your single status and needed a reminder.
  7. You desperately want a dog, but hate the idea of being responsible for a living creature when you can barely take care of yourself.
  8. Drinking daily is no longer considered normal, and neither is throwing up after a particularly memorable night out (if only you remembered it).
  9. You want to travel like everyone else your age, but you need to save up for a new vehicle since your high school car is a mile from a breakdown.
  10. Your co-workers are boring, which makes you realize that if you’re not careful, one day you might be, too.
  11. A 9 to 5 is not the same as waking up at noon for one class.
  12. The professor might not notice if you’re not there, but your boss will.
  13. You can be hungover for class, but at work you have tasks you’re actually expected to accomplish, unfortunately.
  14. Even if you thought you knew exactly what you wanted to do with your life, you’re probably rethinking it now that your idealistic days are over.
  15. You’re supposed to be looking for a relationship, and you’re probably not going to find it verging on a blackout at your favorite bar.
  16. Dancing on pool tables starts to hurt your knees.
  17. Your hangover recovery period is like jet lag because it lasts for days.
  18. All of your family members think that it’s totally appropriate to question you CIA style about your love life (or lack thereof).
  19. “Hooking up” is frowned upon, and now called a “one night stand.”
  20. You will overanalyze every single option that comes your way, make the wrong choice half the time, and still be fine.

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Margaret Abrams

Nothing Margaret writes should be taken seriously by anyone, including her parents, employers, or gentleman callers. She's currently coping with a quarterlife crisis.

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