The following post is SPOILER-FREE.
We all have our favorite go-to lunch places. Frank Underwood’s choice establishment is Freddy’s BBQ Joint, a hole in the wall BBQ spot where Frank goes to avoid the normal Washington scenester crowd. In honor of the upcoming third season of “House of Cards,” let’s break down the key differences between Freddy’s BBQ Joint and the lunch spots where the average post grader frequents on their lunch hour.
1. Location: Freddy’s BBQ is located in a brick and mortar building in one of Washington’s less traveled neighborhoods, a real hidden gem that offers a truly memorable experience.
Meanwhile, you eat at a Panda Express off the highway within 15 minutes of the office, which is neither hidden nor particularly memorable.
2. Management: Freddy’s is owned and operated by Freddy Hayes. A former con struggling to leave his checkered past behind while striving to bring his customers the finest BBQ experience possible.
Your local Jimmy Johns manager made some poor life choices during community college and now this is just his thing. Don’t look to him for insightful life advice or expect anything resembling witty banter.
3. Clientele: Good BBQ knows no set demographic. It seems everyone from local blue collar folks to some of the most powerful men in Washington DC can’t get enough of Freddy’s good old fashion slow cooked BBQ ribs.
You spend your time shuffling through the line at Taco Bell trying to avoid eye contact with your fellow pathetic patrons as you order a $5 buck box and a Quesarito. Congratulations, you’re well on your way to joining the other 35.75% of obese Americans.
4. Power Lunches: A fair way to truly judge the quality of a restaurant is by observing what kind of business deals are brokered under the roof of the establishment. At Freddy’s, a billionaire and a powerful member of Congress conspire together to strike a deal for the Vice Presidency of The United States.
At your neighborhood Applebee’s tire salesmen, shady contractors, and dead beat dads talking to their divorce lawyer all rub elbows together. Literally hundreds of dollars may change hands on any given day.
5. Quality: Freddy is restaurant proprietor who “knows a guy”. You want some of the best tasting pork that might have been illegally “slow bled” for tenderness? Nothing is too good for Freddy’s clients and his commitment to quality spares no expense.
Unlike say, the Olive Garden which draws the quality line at adding salt to the water your pasta is boiling in. When you’re at Olive Garden, you’re like part of the family. A truly disappointing, sub-par, half-assed family masquerading as authentic and traditional, but still a family none the less.
6. Delivery: Frank Underwood loves Freddy’s food so much he will frequently have it delivered to the office, political rallies, and even his personal residence. Freddy, being the man that he is, proudly delivers his product in person to ensure customer satisfaction.
The pizza place your office orders every Friday always fucks the order up, delivers it 30 minutes late, and sends the same sketch highschool junior who looks suspiciously like he should be about 30..
Image via Netflix