You Should Definitely Apply To This ‘Bacon Critic’ Job Posting

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You Should Definitely Apply To This 'Bacon Critic' Job Posting

The website Extra Crispy, a breakfast-exclusive comedic site that was just launched today, is opening up applications for its paid “Bacon Critic” job opening, albeit a freelance role.

According to the job posting, the role of the position within the goofy website is to “cover the bacon beat, spanning bacon’s role in food, drinks, and culture.” I love bacon just as much as the next guy, but I’m scared to ask if it actually has a role in drinks.

While no graduate level education is required for this highly sought-after position (surprisingly), specific qualifications for the gig are as follows:

The Extra Crispy Bacon Critic needs to be opinionated and thorough in his or her research, and will be expected to eventually decide which bacon is the best in the country. Other qualifications include serious writing chops, an unmistakable voice, a sense of adventure, and an insatiable hunger—for bacon.

Sounds like somebody I know.

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As fun as this job sounds, it is also fair to wonder whether the bacon craze might be getting out of hand. As my coworker JohnnyD noted in so many words: while bacon is in fact a scrumptious food that we’re all blessed to have so much of in our lives, the culture of obsessing over it is starting to get ridiculous, and this certainly isn’t helping that.

Besides, despite my spot-on writer’s profile, there’s only one real candidate for the job — and it’s actually pretty obvious:


Far too fond of referring to himself in the third person, Evan took an unnecessary amount of pride for being Grandex's Post Grad Problems intern last summer while still an undergrad. Send leads/tips to

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