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You Can Drink Sunscreen Now

Coppertone-Girl-Miami-Beach

People just keep coming up with ideas of things that you should put into your body that just don’t seem right to me. This time, it’s a product called “UV Neutralizer Harmonized Water ” from a company called Osmosis Skincare. What is it? According to their press release, “It’s some kind of purified water imprinted with unique vibrational waves which isolate out the precise frequencies needed to protect you from UV rays,” whatever the heck that means.

Dr. Ben Johnson says that this formula, when imbibed with 2 ounces of water, will provide about 3 hours of coverage. And as far as the level of protection goes? “We believe this is testing at SPF 30 or higher,” he said.

First of all: You mean to tell me that sunblock WASN’T drinkable? I used to make Coppertone-tinis every time I went to the beach last summer. Maybe that’s why I always found myself passed out in a sand dune hours after the sun had set, but I just assumed the tide carried me while I was napping.

Secondly: This guy isn’t a dermatologist, nor is this product approved by the FDA, so take his claims of sun protection factor with a grain of salt.

Thirdly: Upon looking at this company’s website, they seem to have “harmonized” waters for pretty much every malady known to man. Seriously, everything: From allergies and asthma (“Breathe”) to menstrual cramps and heavy menstruation (“Cramp-Free”), and even something to make your man stop losing his hair, get more energized and increase his libido (“Vigor”). So these people seem to have cured damn near every disease known to man, haven’t they? They even have one that protects against mosquito bites. If that actually worked, wouldn’t people be chugging it for lunch, breakfast, dinner every goddamn day in the South? You bet your ass they would.

Call me a skeptic, but in a day and age where we’re all concerned about the shit we put in our bodies, stuff like this just seems exceptionally fake and, well, probably not a good idea. Don’t want to put on sunscreen? STAY OUT OF THE SUN. I’ll take being goopy and sticky over putting whatever the fuck “Harmonized Water” Is into my body.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make my famous Banana Boat Mojitos, complete with 151 and SPF 50.

[via The Huffington Post]

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