This past Sunday, there’s a good chance you opened your eyes in a room that was too bright and a headache that felt like a gorilla was skull fucking you. Maybe you took one shot too many, slammed too many beers, or just threw down too much wine at dinner. The older you get the more vulnerable you are to a massive hangover. Even noted PGP writer Dillon Cheverere is no longer immune. The only thing to do when stricken by hangover is to find a remedy, so here are our writers’ opinions on how to best cope.
Best hangover cure is the green dragon, then drink a blue Powerade and a bacon and egg sandwich. Then a bit more of the goodness.– MadoffInvestment
Hungover me needs a fat blunt and some home fries covered in gravy.–Delph
My hangover cure is a bowl pack, hearty meal fortified with vitamin G (grease), and more weed. If it’s really bad I’ll lay in the tub with a hot shower going (shoutout T-Stove).– PostGradShibby
For me it’s a few stages. Get in the shower. Wash the stink and shame off from the night before. If I can puke in the shower it’s a bonus. Then I throw on sweats and go get greasy food into me. Preferably Whataburger, but I can make due with breakfast tacos or something else if need be. Then I park myself on a couch in a dimly lit room, watch sports or a show that I can doze in and out of and be a worthless human being all day.– Kyle Bandujo
Let me set the scene for you. My eyes are bloodshot behind my sunglasses. My hair is in a messy bun. I still smell like the bar. I’m gonna need a coffee, a water, and as many spicy Bloodies as it takes to get me back in the game. Next, I’m gonna need some crab cake eggs Benny. As soon as I’ve eaten myself into a coma, and the vodka has worked its magic on my brain, I’m going to return home and retreat to my lair. The only way to ride this baby out is in the dark, endlessly scrolling through social media, while When Harry Met Sally plays in the background. There’s a huge chance I fall asleep at some point, and wake up in the early evening, mildly hungover yet again. Inevitably, my friends will send me a snapchat from the patio of my favorite bar with the caption, “WYA?”, and you guys know what happens next. The cycle never ends, I am hangover. Hangover is me.–Taylor Stovall
My go-to hangover remedy varies – if I’m going to an event where I know I’m going to get slizzed, I usually stock up on Pedialyte, because that shit works miracles. I put one bottle in the fridge and one bottle on my nightstand – it’s way better cold, but if I’m hungover enough for Pedialyte, then there’s a good chance I’m too hungover to make it out of bed. For your standard, run-of-the-mill hangovers, I pop 4 ibuprofen (it’s okay, I’m a doctor), hit up McDonald’s for a sausage burrito meal with a large Diet Coke, crank the AC to the perfect temperature of 69 degrees and lay on the couch watching Netflix until I can once again summon the will to live.–Crick Watson MD
Best way to remedy a hangover is to not drink. But because I drink, my hangover remedy is pretty simple. Drink tons of water and nap as long as I can. When you’re asleep you can’t feel hungover. It’s science.– Improper Brostonian
Immediately drink as much water as possible. Next, ingest marijuana. Here’s where it gets tricky: you need to ride your bike to the gym, and sit in the sauna. Riding your bike is low impact and will get your limbs and joints moving, the sauna will make you sweat out all the evil in your body. Finally, shower and eat a plate of cheese enchiladas.– Icehouse
My tried and tested hangover cure is healthy eating to rid your body of all toxins you ingested the night before. Within an hour of waking, I make myself a puréed tomato salad with some olives and pickles as garnish, and pour it into a glass. Then I pour several shots of vodka in. After a few of these salads, my hangover is gone completely (until Mondaymorning). I would recommend using Effen Cucumber vodka, for the health benefits that only “cucumber flavoring agents” can provide.– Nick Arcadia
It really depends on which day of the week you’re hungover. If it’s a Saturday morning I really don’t see a problem with cracking a Miller Lite around 10 or 11 in the morning. It’ll take the edge off and hopefully that Miller Lite parlays itself into some rooftop drinking or brunch. If it’s Sunday morning, you need Advil, a cup of coffee, and a ton of water on the menu. Actually, who am I kidding? Drink a Miller Lite and have brunch on Sunday too. Miller Lite. That’s my hangover cure. — JohnnyD
I recommend a JERK chicken sandwich from my favorite place OFF the beaten path. It’s LIKE my dad always told me and MY brothers, “Boys, in LIFE there’s only three things a man DEPENDS on. His family, his friends and ON occasion, a good chicken sandwich. That’s IT.” I didn’t always LIKE my dads recommendations to me and MY brothers (I was kind of a DICK when I was younger) but this one WAS his best yet. It makes me FILLED with nostalgia that I could share moments like this WITH my dad and brothers ever since my whole family drank that POISON and died years ago.– JR Hickey
A large McDonald’s french fry, a large unsweetened iced tea with lemon, and a cold shower or swim. Followed by a nap; followed by a mindless tv binge; followed by some uncontrollable sweating; and finally, crying yourself to sleep, alone.– Best
I get an extra large Riptide Rush Gatorade and fill it with Emergen-C and Alka-Seltzer, and then wash it down with a panic attack. — Will deFries.