So I went apartment hunting this past weekend because I’m moving.
Quick sidebar: why is it apartment “hunting?” It’s not like I need a basset hound or cover myself in deer piss to find a decent place.
Anyway, as I’m looking through over-priced option after over-priced option, I finally found a diamond in the rough type situation, because the place is absolutely incredible.
I think when I was walking through it I said to nobody in particular but definitely intended to fall on my new roommates’ ears, “this place is big enough to film a critically acclaimed TV show inspiring a critically acclaimed podcast in.” I’m paraphrasing.
Although not actually big enough to film The Bachelor in, it’s as close as I was going to get given my price range. But it comfortably sleeps four dudes and I guess that’s what’s important. And it’s got a pool on the roof, which is actually probably more important. It did, however, get me thinking about what the deal actually was with the Bachelor mansion. Did ABC build it? Does Chris Harrison actually live there? Can I sublet? You know, the normal questions.
Turns out, I’ve got the answers. The 9,000-square foot mansion is home to a family of six, and goes through quite the extreme makeover home edition to get ready for filming. It’s kind of bonkers, and I’m sort of on the fence about whether or not I’d want to be living with the current arrangement the home owners and the show have. Let’s quickly dive in.
Their home was essentially built for The Bachelor. Haraden first met someone from The Bachelor team when his home was just a newly graded dirt lot. “[The location scout told me], ‘I might use it, I might not. Give me a couple high ceilings, some extra power and some extra bathrooms, and we’ll make it work,'” Haraden says. “And two years later [once construction was complete], he sent an agent around.”
This is a big one in the plus category. Building the house specifically for the show, so you jack up the power and put in more bathrooms. Why is this so important? Power equals water pressure – at least in my brain – so you know you’re getting a great rinse every time you hit the showers. And extra bathrooms? That’s major. You leave an exceptionally ripe steamer in one bathroom and you don’t have to go back in there for another week, since this place has enough bathrooms to support 30 people. That. Is. BIG.
They have to move out twice a year, for six weeks at a time. And not just the family—everything in the house goes too. “Everything leaves,” Haraden says. “Everything that’s not tied down, that’s not part of the home. Curtains, TVs, pots and pans, clothes—everything in one day goes out. And then they take two weeks to put it together the way they want it, and they shoot for X amount of days, and then they spend two weeks to put it back.” The show puts the Haraden family up in a hotel for that time.
This one goes in the minus category. Hotels are fun for a few days, but six weeks at a time, twice a year?
That’s like prison. It’s actually worse than prison, because at least in prison you don’t have to play the guessing game on when the maid is coming to make your sheets. And I don’t think I’d be cool with some minimum wage scrub constantly moving everything I own out of my house. I mean come on guys, even the curtains?
There’s a lot of paint involved. The home receives two coats of paint per season, and the shade depends on whether it is a Bachelor or Bachelorette. In total, the house has received about 44 coats of paint, Haraden shares.
Another big time in the minus category. 44 fucking coats of paint? I’d be worried that I’d need to start wearing a gas mask like I was in the trenches in World War Une just to walk around my own house.
The rose ceremonies are held in the family’s den, which normally features a pool table and a bar. Also, the deliberation room is a bedroom, and the master bedroom closet serves as storage for suitcases (and a napping place for Chris Harrison).
Chris taking naps in my master bedroom? That’s a plus. They say when Chris Harrison naps in your room, he leaves behind an aura that watches and protects over you (Chinese proverb).
Okay, so looks like it’s a tie, two positives versus two negatives. Overall analysis, decent place to live I guess. I mean, the residents do look pretty happy. But you also might run into Chris Soules randomly raiding your fridge.
So I leave it up to you – would you live in the Bachelor mansion as a home knowing you’re getting booted for about 12 weeks a year? .
Image via Instagram