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Women Are Buying Crushed Up Wasp Paste To Rejuvenate Their Vaginas

Women Are Buying Crushed Up Wasp Paste To Rejuvenate Their Vaginas

It’s B-A-N-A-N-A-S (Stefani, G. Hollaback Girl. 2004) the things women will do in the name of beautification. Absolutely befuddling. Jam your feet into shoes that in no way shape or form could you convince me are comfortable. All in the name of trying to look one hunit emoji. Trying to one up your besties while simultaneously playing mind games with boys trying to escape your Friend Zone.

And people have built fucking multi-bajillian dollar industries pushing bullshit products to women. Think Gwyneth Paltrow selling $100 sex dust, or literally any Instagram “influencer” who pushes products on their “blog” for a “living.” I cannot and will not knock the hustle. It’s this kind of entrepreneurial spirit that this fine nation was built on. But you just have to stay woke because most of this crap is all BS. And then you’ve got wasp nest paste for vaginas…

Per NY Post:

Women are being warned against trying a bizarre new trend that suggests using ground-up wasps nests to tighten and rejuvenate their vagina.

Some online retailers have been selling oak galls, which are nests that house wasp eggs before they hatch, and touting them as a natural way of cleaning female genitals.

The product is reportedly used by being crushed into a paste and applied topically, with one listing on Etsy, which has now been removed, claiming it can improve a woman’s sex life.

They are also being advertised as helping to “heal episiotomy cuts, rejuvenate the uterine wall and clean out the vagina” after childbirth, but warn that it can “burn” when applied.

Here’s the line. Right here. This is it. I didn’t know I’d wake up today and find the line where we’ve gone from cool new beautification fad to decimation of the bee population, but alas, here we are. You can try and sell crushed up antacid tablets for $100 and call it sex dust. You can convince the world that doing shots of vinegar and chili powder will melt fat like it’s Frosty The Snowman in the July heat. But when you start messing with the bee population? That’s fucked up. Don’t these paste pushers know that the world will end when the bees go extinct? Get this shit on the agenda at the mother fucking Paris Climate Agreement Summit thingamajig.

Also, let’s say I’m a dude (I am). Let’s day I’ve got a wasp allergy (I don’t, but let’s pretend). Say I take little Max to pay dirt, Duda-style (sans condom). That gonna put me into anaphylaxis? I’ll tell you this, I’m not looking to risk it, and neither should any of you. Ladies, you want manslaughter on your hands? No. So save the bees. And wasps. Save your wasp-allergy bone buddy. Keep the wasp paste away from your whispering eye.

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Boston Max

Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly

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