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Woman Caught Stealing Eye Shadow Looks Exactly Like Someone Who Stole Eye Shadow

This story, in and of itself, is not extraordinary, nor even unusual. People steal shit all the time and get caught doing so. However, as the saying goes, “a picture paints a thousand words,” and on Monday, the picture painted a LOT more than that. It may have started just like any other day for Brandy Allen, 31, of Fayetteville, Arkansas, strutting her elaborate eye shadow art out on the town with one of her friends. That is, until her and a friend decided to head on into the local Ulta, with apparently no intentions of paying to keep their eye shadow skills one-up above the masses. Allegedly, as her friend distracted the clerks with beauty questions, Allen started (illegally) acquiring eye shadows. Allen, and her rainbow eyes were spotted hoarding makeup, and an officer was called. When the officer and the general manager approached her, Allen started running her fingers through the eye shadows and breaking eye liners in an attempt to make them look used and therefore “obviously” not stolen.

Then the officer looked at her face.

Screen Shot 2014-09-03 at 11.04.08 AM

Unfortunately for unicorn-eyed Allen, her plan to keep her eye shadow game tight via the five-finger discount did not come to fruition as she had hoped, and she was hauled off to county jail. She made bail later that day. I can only hope every gal down at the Washington County Detention Center is looking fly AF after Ms. Allen’s time there. Girl has mean eye shadow game. However, as an attorney, I can’t say I’d let her pay me in makeup tutorials anytime soon.

[via 5 News]

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McMagistrate

After stretching college out for 9 years, McMagistrate is now an attorney in her late-ish 20's who earned her title by embracing the stigma that accompanies a healthy partying habit. She enjoys showing off her sub-par golf game and pretending her impressive law school loan doesn't exist. You can likely find her on her patio, live-tweeting her wine binges, and concerning her neighbors.

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