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Wife Poisons Husband’s Lucky Charms To Kill His Boner But Not Actually Kill Him

Wife Poisons Husband's Lucky Charms To Avoid Having Sex With Him, Becomes Every Woman's Hero

I’ve been hearing a lot lately about how marriage turns you into a lifeless person. It’s like the second you force that ring onto your spouse’s finger, the whole concept of effort becomes a long-lost fantasy. Repulsion starts to sink in as you shrivel at the thought of your “other half” coming within three yards of your personal bubble. I imagine this is how Andrea Heming felt right before she poisoned her husband’s Lucky Charms — just to avoid having sex with him.

According to the Daily Mail, Heming contaminated her husband’s Lucky Charms cereal, energy drinks and whipped cream with boric acid, a chemical typically used to kill insects. Prior to officially pleading guilty, the woman told law enforcement officers, “I wouldn’t use that much to kill him, but just enough to make him not have an erection.”

As of right now, Andrea Heming is still on the run. Authorities believe the 49-year-old Nevada woman is somewhere in Mexico steering clear of the public eye.

I have two thoughts on this. First, this is a complete power move once you get over the initial shock that someone actually tried to do this. Second, though her execution was a hard C+, she earns at least an A- in creativity. I personally would have given my hubby Kix just so I could say, “kid tested, mother approved” with a strong wink when I gave it to him, but that’s just me. That or Wheaties. Nothing says “breakfast of champions” like some cardboard brand flakes covered with iced cold boric acid, ya feel me?

[H/T Elite Daily]

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