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Why Every Intelligent Couple Should Live Together Before Marriage

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We’ve read all the articles, and we’ve heard all the statistics. 50% of married couples get divorced, and those odds go up if you cohabitated before tying the knot. It seems like you all think moving in with your significant other before marriage is the world’s worst idea, and honestly, we’re a little over hearing it. I’m from the South, so telling people that I live with my boyfriend is often met with shock and horror. I’m met with a variety of aggressive questions, including:

“What do your parents think?”

“What’s even the point of getting married after this?”

“Are you ever planning on getting married?”

“What happens if you two break up?”

In the minds of many, a couple of broke 22-year-olds getting married after eight months of dating is an event to be celebrated, but moving in with your significant other of over a year when you’re in your mid-to-late 20s is cause for judgment and concern. Everyone has their own opinion that they formed themselves, assuming that we all jumped into these living circumstances without one single, solitary thought in our heads. Although that may be the case for some, that’s certainly not the case for everyone. For those of us who are intelligent individuals, we realized that this plan actually is in our best interests. Before you continue to judge us, let me explain how we came about this decision.

Don’t Beat The Odds, Understand Them

The key word in the title to this article is “intelligent,” and here’s why. Let’s break down these statistics and delve into what they actually mean. Over 50% of all couples get divorced. This number goes up if you lived together before marriage. Living together makes it harder to break up, so instead of breaking up when you can’t stand each other, you stay together out of duty and shared bills, get married, and then break up in a few years when you realize you’ve made a giant mistake. This is what the common person does, not the intelligent one. The intelligent person realizes that there are some things you can only learn about a person through living with them. The intelligent person tests the waters before jumping into a $30,000 wedding celebration, only to be repulsed a week later by the lack of frequency of teeth brushing in their relationship. The intelligent person is brave, and realizes that if the relationship doesn’t work out, they should break up, not stay together out of financial obligations or otherwise.

Make It The Next Step, Not The “Logical” One

If you’re part of an intelligent couple, you did not move in together because it was the logical decision. You didn’t sit down and say, “Well, we’re spending most nights together anyway, and my lease is up, and it would help us out to split bills!” To everyone against living together before marriage, we want you to know that we didn’t do this. We made the decision to do this because it was the next step in our relationship, like a first kiss, or a first sleepover, or a puppy. Yes, we added an extra step in between dating and marriage. But if anything, that should tell you that we’re taking the idea of marriage so seriously that we wanted to try it out before committing to spend the rest of our lives together. Yes, some of us will break up, but we’ll know that we gave it our best shot and we’ll breathe a sigh of relief that we’re splitting without having to hire a divorce attorney. The rest of us will stay together, and we’ll jump happily into marriage, knowing with 100% certainty that we want to spend every day for the rest of our lives with our significant other, even though they fart in their sleep.

You Get To Experience Life Together

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I hate the phrase, “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” No. Don’t wait around for a ceremony and a ring to start your life. The rest of your life has already started, and if you think that it hasn’t until you’re a Mrs., you’ve lost years of your youth that you’ll never get back. I made the decision to move in my significant other, not because of the bills, or not even to test-drive marriage. I wanted to wake up every morning next to the person I love. I didn’t want to wait for three more years to talk about our plans and life and future together. I didn’t want to just bide my time until I got an engagement ring. I wanted to put my trust in my partner, and show that I love him, I count on him, and I’m here to stay.

Yes, it was a big leap. It was scary. But having a place to call our own was more than worth it. I’ll never regret making the decision to live with my boyfriend before getting a ring, because I’m living the life I want now – and I honestly think you should too.

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Steph W.

Steph W. is a new Master's degree graduate with an intern's salary and six-figure taste. She realizes her expectations far exceed reality, so she spends her days pinning away Loubs she pretends are in her physical closet instead of her virtual one. Her hobbies include attempting to trapping her boyfriend into marriage before he finds out how insane she is and pretending that Black Box wine tastes as good as the kind she could afford when she was gainfully employed. Send her tips for getting out of student debt at recruitchairtsm@gmail.com

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