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Whose Vacation Instagram Game Is Better, Me Or Taylor Swift?

This is a real question, because I think the internet is going a little too crazy over Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris gallivanting in the ocean with one another all over Instagram yesterday. So I need to ask — who has a better Instagram game when on vacation, Will deFries or Taylor Swift? Let’s explore.

Exhibit A


🌴

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

Vs.


More like Chill deBreeze.

A photo posted by @willdefries on

Like, cool, Taylor. Can you look more unnatural posing like that in the water? Quick answer, no. This isn’t a Victoria’s Secret Swim shoot. It’s vacation. Toss a towel around the neck to preserve your shoulders and not let them get burned, Toss on a cap, and grab a cocktail. Who are you trying to impress?

Exhibit B


❤️

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

Vs.


"Bro, get a photo of me chugging my beer in front of this sunset."

A photo posted by @willdefries on

Cool sunset shot, guys. What did you do, put your camera on a fucking coconut and set it on a timer? How many times that take you before Taylor got the perfect toe point? All I did was whip out my iPhone, point it at my gf pounding a beer, and boom, magic happened. The fact that it didn’t hit 100 likes is a travesty, if I’m being honest.

Exhibit C


That time when we finally took a vacation. @calvinharris

A video posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

Vs.


¡Feliz Navidad! #flexico

A photo posted by @willdefries on

Let’s transition to water shots, Taylor. Full-disclosure, water trampolines are for trashy people that hate great views. If I wanted to litter the ocean with plastic, I’d just litter, not put a white trash trampoline in the middle of a huge beautiful body of water. All of the SMH.

Exhibit D


A photo posted by Calvin Harris (@calvinharris) on

Vs.


We Face Swapped in this photo. Hey @roger_dorn, hit the gym one time for me.

A photo posted by @willdefries on

Dillon’s abs > Calvin Harris’ abs. Game, set, match. Next.

Exhibit E


A photo posted by Calvin Harris (@calvinharris) on

Vs.

Merry Christmas from your boy. #flexico

A photo posted by @willdefries on

Again, what’s up with the posing? Vacations are all about being casual. That GoPro shot of me going double barrels on margaritas? One take. One fucking take. Knocked it out of the park.

Let’s vote.


PS. If I lose, I may not recover from this.

Image via Instagram

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Will deFries

Will deFries (@WilldeFries) is the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries. Writer, Editor, and Content Manager at Post Grad Problems. Email me at will@grandex.co.

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