This is a real question, because I think the internet is going a little too crazy over Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris gallivanting in the ocean with one another all over Instagram yesterday. So I need to ask — who has a better Instagram game when on vacation, Will deFries or Taylor Swift? Let’s explore.
Like, cool, Taylor. Can you look more unnatural posing like that in the water? Quick answer, no. This isn’t a Victoria’s Secret Swim shoot. It’s vacation. Toss a towel around the neck to preserve your shoulders and not let them get burned, Toss on a cap, and grab a cocktail. Who are you trying to impress?
Cool sunset shot, guys. What did you do, put your camera on a fucking coconut and set it on a timer? How many times that take you before Taylor got the perfect toe point? All I did was whip out my iPhone, point it at my gf pounding a beer, and boom, magic happened. The fact that it didn’t hit 100 likes is a travesty, if I’m being honest.
Let’s transition to water shots, Taylor. Full-disclosure, water trampolines are for trashy people that hate great views. If I wanted to litter the ocean with plastic, I’d just litter, not put a white trash trampoline in the middle of a huge beautiful body of water. All of the SMH.
Dillon’s abs > Calvin Harris’ abs. Game, set, match. Next.
Again, what’s up with the posing? Vacations are all about being casual. That GoPro shot of me going double barrels on margaritas? One take. One fucking take. Knocked it out of the park.
Who has a better vacation Instagram game, me or Taylor Swift?
— Will deFries (@WilldeFries) March 16, 2016
PS. If I lose, I may not recover from this. .
Image via Instagram