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Which Of Your Facebook Friends Are Most Likely To Get Unfriended First?

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If you’ve ever scrolled through your Facebook newsfeed, saw a post from someone you went to high school with and forgot existed, were rubbed the wrong way by their post and immediately clicked the “Unfriend” button as a way of expunging the fact that you ever knew them from existence, now you have a shiny new pair of scientific studies to back you up!

Two studies at the University of Colorado-Denver figured it out 1.) The top 5 types of friends that are unfriended from Facebook; and 2.) The emotional impact of being unfriended.

Yes, that’s right. Two studies at a major university about unfriending someone on Facebook. This is what American universities are funding instead of research on economics, famine, disease and building Iron Man. This is why the rest of the world hates us.

According to the study, “the top five types of friends to be unfriended from Facebook are: high school friends, other, friends of friends, work friends and common interest friends.” Christopher Sibona, a doctoral student at the University of Colorado-Denver, said that the most common reason people unfriend someone is a polarizing comment, usually about politics, religion, or just plain uninteresting posts.

I would certainly say that’s true, but my personal top five reasons for unfriending someone are:

5. Engagement/Wedding announcements.
4. Any “announcements” with the word “officially” or “finally” in them.
3. Vague, moody posts about why the world sucks, but won’t tell you why until you take their bait.
2. If Facebook tells you it’s someone’s birthday and you have no idea who the hell they are or haven’t spoken to them since 2007.
1. Ultrasound Negatives and basically anything having to do with babies.

Basically, anything having to do with anyone’s joy or emotions, because I’m one miserable son of a bitch.

Speaking of emotions, the second study, which showed how a person feels after being unfriended, found that people had, you guessed it, a wide range of emotions when being deleted. They ran the gamut from “I was amused” to “I was surprised/bothered/felt sad.”

So what have we learned? Nothing, really, other than the fact that 90% of the people you went to high school with are just horrible, horrible people. But we all knew that. But if you go to the University of Colorado-Denver and wonder where all of your tuition money goes, well, here it is. Studies about Facebook friends. You’re welcome, America.

[via CBS News]

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