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When A Company Happy Hour Gets Out Of Hand

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Today, we go inside TetraCorp’s monthly company happy hour. After a particularly great business quarter, TetraCorp’s young employees have decided to cut loose at this week’s happy hour.

4:15pm: Email from the office manager, Liz:

Hello, all! Just a reminder that company happy hour is TONIGHT at PJ McGinty’s! I can take up to five people in my Murano. Last month’s event was poorly attended, so we really would like to see better attendance this time. I know I’ve already received RSVPs from a few of you, but if we get more than 10 people to go, corporate will give us a $100 tab at PJ’s! Hope to see you all there!

Liz

4:16pm: Liz’s email inbox is flooded with 17 emails, mostly from the entry-level employees on staff.

5:15pm: TetraCorp’s employees arrive at PJ McGinty’s. Liz puts the company card down on the bar and orders a round of beers.

5:20pm: TetraCorp overtakes three tables towards the back of the bar. A few employees begin playing darts, as their coworkers engage in small talk at the tables.

5:30pm: Liz goes back to the bar for the second round of drinks and orders four plates of appetizers. The company’s tab is quickly maxed out. Liz calls corporate to see if they can get more money for happy hour. Corporate approves.

5:40pm: Jeff, a junior account executive, plays “Rich Girl” by Hall & Oates on the jukebox. Jeff notices his coworkers heads beginning to bob along with the music. Liz is really into it.

5:55pm: Liz goes back to the bar for the third round of beers.

6:05pm: Liz is now sitting on Jeff’s lap.

6:10pm: Department manager Jim takes it upon himself to buy a round of shots for the group. Jeff puts “Kyrie” by Mr. Mister on the jukebox.

6:15pm: Liz is now rhythmically dancing in the middle of the bar and has unbuttoned her blouse, ever so slightly.

6:40pm: The company credit card is still open at the bar. Jeff and several of his coworkers buy shots of Fireball for themselves.

6:45pm: Lance from logistics arrives on the scene with his fiancée.

6:47pm: Jeff makes an offhanded remark about how Lance outkicked the coverage with his fiancée as he selects “The Power of Love” By Huey Lewis and the News on the jukebox.

6:59pm: Scott from operations puts in an order for 16 beers before the bar’s happy hour special ends.

7:01pm: Scott from operations receives praise from his coworkers for thinking so quickly on his feet, and tells them to pay him back “whenever.”

7:15pm: Liz is giving Jeff bedroom eyes as Jeff selects “(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher” by Jackie Wilson on the jukebox.

7:17pm: Social media coordinator Ben sends the group into uproarious laughter by quoting Ghostbusters 2 all throughout the Jackie Wilson song.

7:23pm: Jeff takes everyone’s mixed drink orders.

7:25pm: Liz has her arms around Jeff’s waist as Jeff orders a round of mixed drinks on the company tab, getting everyone’s order wrong.

7:30pm: No one notices that Jeff got everyone the wrong drinks.

7:45pm: Lance from logistics and his fiancée leave after Jeff makes another joke about how Lance is too ugly for his hot fiancée.

7:58pm: Liz is visibly drunk, and sitting on Jeff’s lap again.

8:10pm: Liz and Jeff begin making out as their coworkers begin snapping pictures on their phones.

8:15pm: Jeff attempts to fight Ben after Ben sends out a Snapchat of Jeff and Liz making out.

8:30pm: Jeff is thrown out of the bar by two bartenders and a waitress.

8:35pm: Liz begins crying and is consoled by Ben.

8:37pm: Ben and Liz begin making out.

8:50pm: Scott from operations takes it upon himself to buy yet another round of shots.

8:55pm: Ben puts Liz into a cab, after Liz attempts to lure him into the cab several times.

8:56pm: Ben hails another cab to follow Liz back to her place after realizing what a terrible mistake he’s made.

9:15pm: All TetraCorp employees leave PJ McGinty’s and go home.

9:27am the next day: Ben, Liz and Jeff all finally show up to work.

10:05am: Ben, Liz and Jeff are all fired.

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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