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What Your Desktop Background Says About You

Your work computer’s desktop background reveals a lot about what kind of person you are. Maybe you’re a minimalist who likes to keep it simple, or maybe you’re the flashy type who has a beautiful cityscape with lightning flashing in the background. Either way, that desktop background can provide a deep look into your personality.

Stock Background

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You are an old person who doesn’t know how to use a computer. You may yearn for personal expression through your computer’s display, but do not possess the basic computer knowledge of how to operate the display settings. You are a prisoner of your own incompetence.

Cityscape

Nashville skyline

You have pride in your hometown. You love where you came from and your computer monitor provides you an escape back to your roots. A basic Google image search of “(insert city name here) skyline” yielded a bounty of beautiful, high-resolution results, but for some reason, you chose the pixelated, 600 x 400 picture from 1997.

Cars

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You dream of the day when you can finally walk into that BMW dealership with confidence and finance your very own luxury motor vehicle. You’ve loved cars since you were a kid, but can’t afford anything other than a certified pre-owned 2010 Nissan Maxima on your current salary. It’s a shame, really. Keep working hard, though. You’ll get there someday.

A Hot Woman

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You’re a douchebag.

Cute Animals

basket-of-kittens

You love animals. Understandable. You have a soul. But seriously, a basket full of kittens? Do you even own those kittens? How do you know that they weren’t shipped off to some kitten factory to be harvested after their cuteness wore off? Get your own animals.

Your Favorite TV Show

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You are cultured and enjoy good television programming. Although, if the background is from a show like Two and a Half Men or The Big Bang Theory, I reserve the right to question your eligibility as a registered voter in the United States and might just exclude you from Friday lunch at Chipotle.

Picture From College

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You’re a romantic. You want your workstation to serve as a constant reminder of the glory days. You’re just a mouse-click away from being whisked away back to your favorite bar in your college town. I respect the move. However, if you’re over 25, you might want to think about moving on. I know it takes time to realize that it’s over, but if you’re paying for your own health insurance and still have a pic from the Ying Yang Twins show during SB09 in PCB as your background, you might want to seek counseling. Grow up, Peter Pan.

You And Your Significant Other

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So sweet. How very touching. This is true love. I’m pretty sure setting your desktop background to a picture of you and your boo is one step below getting engaged. This is serious business. Big step for you. This also serves as an unspoken, open invitation for anyone in the office to ask about your main squeeze. You’re opening yourself up to a lot of unwanted conversations about your personal life. Proceed with caution.

#Lioning

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You’re an outlaw with no regard for authority. You’re a rebel, a real go-getter with a can-do attitude who’s ready to take your industry by storm. Pulling power moves 24/7/365, open on Sundays.

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Brian McGannon

What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.

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