“Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard and believe in yourself.” #PGP

Corporate just lowered our mileage reimbursement. PGP.

The funniest group text I’m currently in is with myself, my mom and my sister. PGP.

Wade Boggs drinking more in one flight than I can drink in a weekend. PGP.

There’s more liquor in my desk than my apartment. PGP.

Dreading returning your rental car because it’s that much nicer than your own. PGP.

Feeling like a has-been in your trivia league. PGP.

Setting your Tinder age range from 30 to 40 to boost your self-esteem. PGP.

Walking to the vending machine Friday afternoon and wishing you could have a Budweiser instead of a Coke. PGP.

Going to visit your parents on their anniversary like a good son…with two hampers full of laundry. PGP.