Latest Google search: “Can you overdose on melatonin?” PGP.

Regional manager is taking the last 3 of us out to lunch this week. We’re going to the food court at the local mall. PGP.

When you get drunk and sign up for The Bachelor because you’re 27, single, and unemployed. PGP.

I give zero fucks about what grade your kid is about to start. PGP.