My phone actually rang today. It scared the crap out of me. PGP.

Spilled coffee on my desk this morning, and the cheap office paper towels just smeared it around. PGP.

Showing up to work at 8:00, but not starting work till 10:00. PGP.

The worse my day at the office, the more I spend on lottery tickets that night. PGP.

Having prepared, bulletproof stories for why you were late/left early/took a long lunch. PGP.

Considering mutiny after the office switches to off-brand coffee. PGP.

My LinkedIn profile consisting of bits and pieces from my coworkers’ profiles. PGP.

It’s bring your kid to work day, and I’ve never been more uncomfortable. PGP.