Where are girls meeting these dudes who hate that they rack in the cash? My friends and I constantly joke about how awesome it would be to lock down a doctor, so we could just drop the kids off at school, work out to stay hot, and play Fortnite all day lolz.
Finished Invisalign a couple days ago and I look hot af. Gonna go to bars, still probably not talk to random girls, and go home to play drunk fortnite till 3am. I love it.
When I brought a girl home from the bar a few weeks ago, I told her I needed to shower before we made a two piece puzzle. Nah, I just needed to go #2 really bad. The shower afterwards was just the perfect cover up.
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I would love to get swole and play Fortnite all day, when the Mrs. is out making fat stacks.
Where are girls meeting these dudes who hate that they rack in the cash? My friends and I constantly joke about how awesome it would be to lock down a doctor, so we could just drop the kids off at school, work out to stay hot, and play Fortnite all day lolz.
6. During my recent Eurotrip, every German girl I tried to hit on, suddenly couldn’t remember how to speak English.
Snobby or die.
Wanna play Duos?
I can see the madness from my cube window, right now. Pretty happy to avoid it and go to a couple of the Lolla aftershows this weekend, instead.
Oh god, your twitter confirms you’re one of the many insufferable cheeseheads who root for my cubs as well.
Would’ve loved to see Chris Harrison tell him, “it’s lower than think” as Colton was about to head into the fantasy suite, shucks.
Stayed at my first job out of school for almost three years and I still regret not leaving earlier.
A girl recently told me during pillow talk, after a one nighter, that my bedroom looked like it belonged to a high schooler.
Yeah, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
Finished Invisalign a couple days ago and I look hot af. Gonna go to bars, still probably not talk to random girls, and go home to play drunk fortnite till 3am. I love it.
Why would I save up to buy some shitty apartment when I can drop 4 g’s on a 2 week bender, with my boys, in Europe this August?
I put 10% of every paycheck into savings. Sup?
Go study for finals.
Emma Watson just does it for me.
When I brought a girl home from the bar a few weeks ago, I told her I needed to shower before we made a two piece puzzle. Nah, I just needed to go #2 really bad. The shower afterwards was just the perfect cover up.
None of my friends are married yet, but I always feel this same way at the end of Homecoming weekend, every fall. I miss my friends 🙁
Last winter, I walked backwards into a radiator and got second degree burns on my asscheek.
My parents still print map quest directions, when they both have iPhones. It’s great.