That asshole in front of you at Chipotle ordering for the office. PGP

I need a new LinkedIn picture. PGP

The high point of my day is listening to Dave Ramsey on the radio. PGP

Babe flirting with me in the bar turned out to be a hooker. I couldn’t afford it. PGP

Only being able to tell your coworkers the PG13, edited for TV, version of your weekend. PGP

I need to lose weight because I got fat. I can’t afford to lose weight because my suits won’t fit. PGP

I hate my life. PGP.

The only text I received yesterday was a low balance alert from Chase. PGP.