Optimistic pessimist, Profoundly unimportant

Member Since 01/07/2014

  • Nived_Neirbo 5 hours ago on Feel Better About Yourself By Reading The Awful Things Our Readers Did This Weekend

    To the guy who tried the Colombian Marching Powder: I know a guy who knows another guy who has a very mellow, fuller bodied gold bond powder. But drugs are bad and you’re a piece of shit for doing them at a bar that’s supposed to be for people looking to forget about their life problems by doing other drugs that we deem okay. How fucking selfish of you. If I was a DEA Agent I would for sure murder you in an alley and sprinkle little coke crumbs on your lifeless body to make up for the fact that I’m terrible at my job and the overall scope of my job is to simultaneously perpetuate a never ending “drug war” that is designed to create profits for the very people who enforce these laws.

  • Nived_Neirbo 7 hours ago on Morning Coffee Thoughts 4/24

    Currently sitting on my bed, not wanting to go into the office. I should have been in the office an hour ago. Yoga yesterday didn’t help with the occurrence of Monday. I was convinced that if I align my consciousness in a deeper state, I would be able to skip today completely on a metaphysical and spiritual level. What a load of shit. The Bruins lost yesterday so sports are pretty much over for me until next year. The rest of the day I pretty much just drank vodka sodas, ate Mexican food, and took candid photos of my gf to piss her off because idk what life is anymore.

  • Nived_Neirbo 7 hours ago on Morning Coffee Thoughts 4/24

    You’re gonna have to go to his house and take a shit in the upper tank of his toilet. There’s no other way. Make it a messy one too. I suggest going to Taco Bell prior to your visit

  • Nived_Neirbo 3 days ago on Morning Coffee Thoughts 4/21

    I think about that a lot since I’m forced to play the role of said cube monkey in this shitty-ass low budget indie film we call life as I type this on my overpriced phone mechanism with a dollar value that could probably feed a family of 13 in another country we are establishing financial influence in. Right now I’m thinking about living in a van and taking photos of shit I see in hopes that it accelerates my man beard growth so I look like a guy who’s lived in a van for awhile just so people will leave me alone long enough to where I can exit stage right into another plain of existence

  • Nived_Neirbo 3 days ago on GIFs Are Nothing But A Crutch For The Unfunny

    This comment is going to be down voted into obscure oblivion and probably taken out back behind the tool shed and shot in the fucking face but I agree with Nick. GIFs have their place and are funny but a lot of people use them as a mask for their inability to come up with with witty/creative things on their own. There’s a lot of “mashed potato on white bread” people out there who have no comedic soul. These people have made the rest of the GIF users look bad and it’s a tragedy. They’re like the people who rely on the context of movie quotes to fit themselves into a situation. These people need to be given high doses of psychedelic substances and then placed in creative writing classes and then kicked to the street to get beaten down by life so they combine their experiences to come up with valuable substance. I mean, for fuck’s sake look at me

  • Nived_Neirbo 3 days ago on Morning Coffee Thoughts 4/21

    I have the beta phase written down on a napkin…production phase is getting ironed out by my brain right now and will soon be put to another napkin. Need to pitch capitalist investors and try to convince them to completely dismantle Capitalism and pivot to a resource based economy where universal income becomes a norm. In order to make this work, i understand that we will need to get rid of many people. Currently working with the Rothschilds and the Rockafellars as a joint effort to start a clandestine war in a resource abundant country with acceptable collateral sacrifices in order to create regional tensions to create profit streams for initial investment phase. The financial institutions are all backing this idea. Now working to find a demagogue for the idiot masses to blindly follow while we iron out the road map for said Utopian society. Will advise.

  • Nived_Neirbo 3 days ago on Morning Coffee Thoughts 4/21

    Good morning everyone. Today I will be sitting through 6 hours worth of meetings while mentally checking out and thinking about how to build a uptopian society from scratch. According to a study I just did in my head 2 seconds ago, literally 80% of life is doing shit that you don’t want to be doing at places you don’t want to be at. Gonna go grab a nitro brew and then probably go poop for like 40 minutes just to hide from reality

  • Nived_Neirbo 4 days ago on A Breakdown Of How To Choose The Best Possible Photos For Your Dating Profile

    What really worked for me was 1.) Me rescuing a baby stuck in a tree 2.) me saving a puppy from a kill shelter while wearing a mink coat 3.) me teaching kids about 9/11 conspiracies (it looked like I was teaching them architectural engineering) 4.) me traveling with aforementioned puppy to a tropical destination 5.) me in a suit with a golden shovel in my hand/shaking hands with some old guy while standing next to a gentrified ghetto filled with new brunch places

  • Nived_Neirbo 4 days ago on Morning "Coffee" Thoughts 4/20

    I’m glad we could come to a mature resolution to this conflict lol. Do you girl, don’t give up on the parody jokes. I used to get smoked on here but now I pretty much just say whatever and ppl kind roll with it. They’re probably going to give me stock options soon or have me monetize my comments somehow because I’m like really important to their operation now. Just believe in yourself and all that jazz!