I put in my notice and the company owner told me not to bother coming back.

Typed “lunch” in an iMessage and my predictive text immediately brought up “beer.”

Using Father’s Day sales but having no kids.

My mom figured out how to @me on Instagram.

Wishing I could do a shot every time one of my bosses say “piggyback” in a morning meeting.

Peter Millar taste, Polo outlet budget.

Coffee scented urine.

“You guys hear about Jared?”

Went up another survey age bracket.

Tyrion needing wine to sleep.