My birthday is New Year’s Eve. It blows a fat one. Everyone is either out of town for the holiday, I get screwed over in the gifts department because of the old “Oh, that’s your Christmas/birthday present” excuse, and half the time I’m ID’d, the clerk is skeptical it’s real or I hear “Well someone’s a New Year’s baby ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).”
Randall. Just remember they are waking up at 4:36am every day to a diaper filled with demons, while you get to sit back with a cold one and enjoy any adult programming of your choosing.
The cargo-slacks, the enticing yet tasteful FUPA movements, a neatly-trimmed mustache to compliment his gleaming dome. Goddammit that’s a winner if I ever saw one.
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My birthday is New Year’s Eve. It blows a fat one. Everyone is either out of town for the holiday, I get screwed over in the gifts department because of the old “Oh, that’s your Christmas/birthday present” excuse, and half the time I’m ID’d, the clerk is skeptical it’s real or I hear “Well someone’s a New Year’s baby ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).”
I got a rock.
And who can forget male seduction and flirtation methods for junior high? The shameless school-dance chubby was a popular choice.
14. Uhhh, go fuck yourself ma’am.
Moving around for an extended period of time does absolutely NOTHING for you eh? Publish your findings man, I need to read about this.
Welp, time to find another job then.
Jefferson: “Why use a sock when I’ve got Sally?”
But you’re homeless.
I agree with you, and couldn’t understand why I was flamed until I saw Poe’s Law on wiki
Why does the title sound like it was lifted from Cosmo?
Randall. Just remember they are waking up at 4:36am every day to a diaper filled with demons, while you get to sit back with a cold one and enjoy any adult programming of your choosing.
Maybe an obscure liquor or a fine food subscription?
“Rich don’t marry upper middle class. Rich marry rich. The sooner you accept that, the better off you’ll be.”
False amigo. Half of the weddings I went to this summer looked like the Clampetts crashed a Trump fundraiser.
The cargo-slacks, the enticing yet tasteful FUPA movements, a neatly-trimmed mustache to compliment his gleaming dome. Goddammit that’s a winner if I ever saw one.
That’s the spirit!
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