I literally do not know how to ask for days off.

The guy in the cube next to me chews so loudly that I can hear him with headphones in. PGP.

Every Thursday, a woman I work with starts her emails with “Happy Friday Eve!” PGP.

Pretty sure the pregnant lady I work with thinks I’m the spawn of satan because I told her I don’t like kids. PGP.

I’m pretty sure I would be 30% more productive if I saw daylight more. PGP.

My eye doctor told me I should probably try to limit my computer usage because of how bad my eyes are getting. Is that a good enough reason to quit my job? PGP.

Any time someone emails me with a question, it takes every ounce of my will power not to answer, “I have no fucking idea, dude.” PGP.

One of the women in my office wants me to do a squat challenge with her. PGP.

If you’re ridiculously busy and your day still drags, that’s when you know you truly hate your job. PGP.