Based on the amount of spreadsheets I do daily, I was overqualified for this job when Windows ’95 came out. PGP.

Had a craving for something sweet so I went with Red Bull instead of my usual coffee. Now I can hear my own heartbeat. PGP.

“Honey, I think I am going to stop taking the pill.” PGP.

Clogging the office toilet. PGP.

Pamela Anderson’s tits are more real than my enthusiasm today. PGP.

My boss types with two fingers. PGP.