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Urinal Problems: A Rant

urinals

So I just went to take a piss at work, and I discovered pubes on the lip of the urinal. First off, that’s fucking disgusting. Second, whose fucking ball fro is so unkempt that when they “whip it out” to take a piss, dick hair just falls freely as flakes of snow in the winter? I’m not a huge fan of manscaping, but holy fucking hell, that’s outright ridiculous. Also, everyone here with the exception of me is at least 40. I would think that people of that age group would be mature enough to say, “Shit, I seem to have lost a curly q or two. I’ll do the right thing and wipe them up with a fucking paper towel so my coworkers don’t have to see this.” And who in the fuck stands that close to the fucking urinal? I mean, I guess if they’re all having a prostate inflammation and they can’t get pressure behind the shot like they used to, then maybe I understand standing closer, but it’s as if this fucktard said, “Hey why don’t I just go hands free and rest my nut sack on the lip for convenient, low-pressure piss.” And if that’s the case, did this shithead just pull his balls out through the zipper, or did he go back to kindergarten and drop trow completely? Either way, it’s fucking gross. This is what’s wrong with America, and I, frankly, am sick of it.

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