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Unpopular Opinions That Happen To Be True

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Everyone has unpopular opinions. A lot of people like to present extremely popular opinions they have as unpopular, such as, “I think people should have to work for what they earn.” Well, yeah, no fucking shit. Everyone thinks that. I always enjoy a good unpopular opinion, though. Even if I don’t agree with it, it’s nice to hear differing views. Here are a few unpopular opinions I hold that I think are pretty correct.

1. Popular American beers are pretty good.

I’m tired of people shitting on the little guy. And by “the little guy,” I mean the massive beverage conglomerates that make widely popular domestic beers. It seems as if the price for admission to becoming a fan of good beer is that you have to also reject the beer that you previously drank. What’s with all the hate for the Bud, Miller, and Coors groups, guys? Sure, a lot of people obviously buy their products, but I don’t think anyone would call them “good.” I get why the Europeans do it–they have a vested interest in making fun of us for anything they can, because we’re so good at everything. But why y’all? The argument is stupid, too. “Coors Light is a shitty beer.” Compared to what? The craft microbrew that costs $15 for a six pack? Yeah, no fucking shit. A kobe beef burger is great, but nobody’s shitting on McDonald’s because of it. Price points, people. Yeah, I get it, Yuengling is a great cheap beer. Well, guess what? We can’t get it in most of the country, you East Coast assholes. Does Miller Lite taste like ostrich piss when it gets warm? Sure. That’s why you drink it when it’s cold, dummy. If I want a fancy beer, I’ll pay for a fancy beer. But don’t look down on me because I’m trying to get lit on a budget.

2. Nickelback is an alright band.

Oh man, I can feel the Internet torches being lit already. Luckily they aren’t real, and 95 percent of people who exist online are idiots or spam accounts being run by criminals in the Balkans, so I’m not too concerned. It confuses the shit out of me, actually. Nickelback isn’t just one of the most successful bands of the last decade, it’s one of the most successful bands of all time. So where are all of its supporters? Sure, some of them are probably dumdums who can’t afford Internet access, or think computers are government mind-control devices, but not all Nickelback fans are my uncle Ronny. I’m willing to bet that most people who loved Nickelback in the heyday of its music are too afraid to admit it, because it’s become uncool to like them. Those who still do enjoy the band’s tunes just don’t want to mess with the hassle. Personally, I’m pretty neutral on Nickelback. It’s got some songs I really like, and others I think are eye-roll worthy. But that’s the case with a lot of bands I like. U2, Guns ‘n Roses, Coldplay, Goo Goo Dolls, hell, even Lou Reed and Bob Dylan–all of these artists have put out entire albums that are absolute garbage, so I’m willing to forgive a few cheesy faux-arena rock jams from Nickelback. The fact is, the band has good musicians, they know what their music is and what it isn’t, and they do what they do very well. I’ll always have respect for people like that. The Internet cult of bashery can suck a collective chode.

3. Cops are mostly okay.

Between college police departments busting up our epic parties back in the day,or the increasingly publicized incidents of police brutality, militarization, and general misbehavior, one would think we’re totally being overrun by asshole cops. In fact, there are a lot of people who would argue that’s true. I’m not convinced. I’ve interacted with a lot of police officers in my life, both in cases where I was in trouble and while watching other people in trouble, and the overwhelming majority of them are good dudes/chicks. Granted, I’m a white male who looks about as dangerous as a bowl of room temperature mac and cheese, but that doesn’t explain all of it. Obviously, there are shitty cops, and the nature of the job means that if you’re a dick, you’ll probably get away with it. But more than any time in our history, we’re seeing some accountability for police actions. Thirty years ago, there were basically no video cameras anywhere. Now, everyone has one in his or her pocket. Cops know they’re being filmed, and honestly, they should like it. Hell, they should all put on cameras themselves. I watched a video from a dash cam the other day that showed a cop take down this dude for seemingly no reason. Thankfully, the cop had a personal video camera on, too, and you could see from his perspective that the dude clearly took a swing at him. Most cops are okay people, but we just have to make sure that we have shit in place for the small minority who aren’t.

4. Money can buy happiness.

I’m tired of people talking about money like it’s not a factor in happiness. Is money the most important thing in life? No, and nobody fucking thinks that. But if you don’t think that having money can’t buy happiness, you’re nuts. I’m not just talking about security–I’m also talking about straight-up materialism. Have you ever been on a cruise? It’s fucking magical. Do you realize how much easier it is to sleep at night on a $5,000 bed? It’s like sleeping on a silk hammock strung between two flying Pegasi. Or the ability fly anywhere in the world on a whim? Sure, there are depressed, rich people, and money doesn’t buy mental health or an ability to socialize with humans, but it sure as fuck can make you happy.

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Randall J. Knox

Randall J. Knox (known colloquially to his friends as "Knox") left his native Texas a few years ago, and moved to Los Angeles in his '03 Buick Regal named LeRoi to write movies with his jackass college buddies. His favorite things in life include bourbon that's above his pay grade, mix CDs, and Kevin Costner films. He isn't sure what "dad jeans" are exactly, but he knows he wants a pair.

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